Why do people lose touch with their feelings?

For some people, they can't find the right words to describe their feelings. Perhaps this is because our culture does not provide formal education to help people develop their emotional awareness and acquire a language that reflects emotional intelligence.

Some people, in the process of growing up, may have been indoctrinated not to pay attention to their own emotions, it is more effective to try to be strong and forbear. Some people may be born with a lack of basic self-awareness and cannot distinguish their feelings. In addition to being uneasy, some people simply "do not feel".

Known as "Alexithymia," this manifestation is the inability to recognize and describe one's emotions.

In their eyes, emotion seems to be only black and white, not color. In this world, this way of life is undoubtedly lifeless and dangerous.

To find out what's behind the feelings, you can try to uncover the emotions bit by bit, so you can identify the emotions that are closely related to anger, irritability, or anger.

Identifying your emotions accurately is not always easy. On the contrary, for some reason, it can be quite difficult. Sometimes it's hard to tell apart similar emotions, like guilt and shame, because the differences between them are quite subtle. Other times, we don't want to know how we're feeling, and we use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. We may suppress that feeling by burying our feelings subconsciously or by consciously rejecting certain thoughts. This mental process is called "inhibition".

Another defense mechanism is called "reverse formation." People turn uncomfortable feelings or some unacceptable emotions into another form, hiding their true feelings in another behavior or response.

Deep down, consciously or not, these defense mechanisms are self-preservation efforts. We may be trying to beautify our image, to be decent in front of others, or to keep ourselves in a better state of mind.

In-depth exploration is valuable because research has shown that being able to distinguish between different emotions (such as anger and sadness) and similar emotions (such as anger and annoyance) is highly correlated with emotional well-being including positive emotions, self-esteem, and emotional clarity .

There is another hidden benefit to knowing how you feel. You’ll be more likely to meet the right people and connect with them emotionally for intimacy or solace so you don’t feel lonely or broken when you encounter setbacks.