How to Control Your Bad Emotions
In life, we will encounter situations where our emotions are out of control. In such a situation, many people will think: "Do you have a bad temper and a weak ability to control your emotions?" "How do you control your bad emotions?"
First, a "bad mood" can also be a good mood
Feeling these emotions is not good for our bodies. There is some argument that fully rational people are fully evolved people, and those emotions are because we are not fully evolved and therefore shouldn't have those "bad" emotions. However, this leads them to want to get rid of that part of their "self" that has lost their temper. When they lose their temper, they think they are not good, or that they are not doing well and should not lose their temper.
However, from the point of view of nature, if a yak has no temper, it will not have enough energy to deal with the attacks of lions and tigers; Enemies who invaded their own territory and did not have enough energy to protect their homeland...
Those impulsive, irritable, angry emotions aren't "bad emotions," just because they can have catastrophic consequences when they erupt uncontrollably. If we vent in the right places: gyms, boxing rings, courtrooms, battlefields... These energies that were originally considered "bad emotions" become our irreplaceable advantages.
Second, bad emotions are not entirely their own reasons.
After a person loses his temper, we might say: This person has a bad temper. This behavior is attributable to individual characteristics, which we often refer to as "character." Man does have his character, but "character" does not affect a person's emotions to the point that all emotional events can be attributed to his character.
If we look at our emotions in terms of a "field," our emotions are part of the field we are in. It is affected by all parts of the current field, and it is also affecting other parts of the current field. In other words, if we change the environment in which we live and work, change some people we get along with day and night, and change the circumstances of our lives, our mood will be different. From this perspective, it is inappropriate for us to attribute all emotional conflicts to one person. It's important to note here that this doesn't mean we can't take responsibility for our emotions.
Third, we must not lose our temper.
Going back to the beginning of the article, if the children who play mobile phones are in the top ten in school, the father’s debts outside are only nine cents, and the company is developing in a healthy state, then the father will not lose his temper; in the process of taking care of the children , even if the child overturned the bowl and did not eat obediently, she can see from the perspective of education and development that the child's psychology is healthy, not only will not be angry, but will be happy; in the face of unsatisfactory results, if Satisfied with her relationships and artistic talents, the high school sophomore tends to marvel at the thoughtful quotes from thinkers and philosophers about the world. Even in the face of her father's rants and puzzles, she can laugh it off.
When a person knows that the immediate gains and losses will not affect the success or failure of his final development, he will not lose control of his emotions. The ability to see what determines our success or failure also affects our emotional state.
Fourth, the memory of the body
When we've been robbed on a dark street and we're in a dark scene, we can't help but get nervous; when we've suffered a huge loss because of a thief and face the thief again, no matter what Whether or not the thief has affected me now, I'll be in high spirits; if we meet someone who doesn't repay the loan, causing huge losses, and confronting someone who doesn't repay the loan again, the same hatred will arouse.
It's our body's memory: challenges that haven't been overcome in the past will continue to challenge us. Through the work of "unfinished events" in Gestalt counseling, we can safely get through these emotionally explosive events.