A Childhood Emotionally Neglected May Lay Depression Hidden

In childhood, if parents care more about their children's feelings and emotions while caring about their children's food, clothing, housing, transportation and learning, it will help children learn to pay attention to and understand their own emotions. In the process of growing up, children can form a sound self-awareness, know how to care for themselves, love themselves, manage their emotions, and have stronger psychological toughness like adults.

People who grow up in homes with little emotional attention often become "good kids" because they know they won't get attention when they're sad, crying, or angry, and gradually learn to automatically suppress their emotions. mood. And in doing so, they receive praise from their parents, which reinforces their neglect of affection.

However, this "goodness" comes at a price. Later in life, when they encounter problems, they tend to suppress their feelings. When great pain comes and cannot be suppressed, they will collapse, and they will feel particularly inferior and self-blaming for their emotional outbursts.

Depressed emotions and depressive personality

First of all, I am used to ignoring my emotions. When the brain encounters external stimuli that induce emotions and feelings, it cannot form normal feedback. As a result, I was unable to recognize, express, manage and use my emotions. Accumulated for a long time, emotions will be entangled with each other, out of balance, self-blame instead of anger, indifference instead of fear, numbness instead of sadness...

Anger, for example, is a powerful and important feeling when used properly. Expressing anger when necessary has the function of developing one's own psychological space, establishing interpersonal boundaries, preventing aggression, and expressing needs. People who are accustomed to suppressing emotions will not be able to express their anger, and anger will be transformed into severe criticism and attacks on themselves, making people hate themselves and belittle themselves. Typical state: "It happened because I wasn't good enough. I deserve it."

This kind of self-attack is actually an effective way to reduce anxiety, which is not only safe, but also enhances my sense of power-it was my fault, so I can change my mistakes and turn around the predicament.

At the same time, people who are emotionally neglected will always feel lonely. When they are overwhelmed, they will not choose to ask others for help, but face it alone.

In such cases, repressed cognitions, images, and feelings permeate a person in a covert, orderly, slow, and persistent manner and become part of his personality.