5 ways to get your child out of low self-esteem
Inferiority is a complex emotion that is unable to control oneself and is weak and powerless. People with an inferiority complex despise themselves and think they can't keep up with others. Inferiority can be said to be a character flaw. It is characterized by a low evaluation of one's own abilities and qualities, and can be accompanied by some special emotional manifestations. It is also self-denial, lack of self-confidence in oneself, and disapproval of one's own psychological performance.
Excessive demands on children will make children always surrounded by criticism and even complaints. In the long run, children's self-confidence will be wiped out, causing them to subconsciously deny themselves "I can't", "I'm stupid", "Others just don't like me" before doing anything. There is no doubt that such a child has problems. To help children get rid of the shadow of inferiority, parents must first change their attitude towards their children, so as to rebuild their children's self-confidence and let them know how to affirm themselves.
- Strengthen the child's self-affirmation.
For children with severe inferiority complex, the inner self-affirmation is often fragile and unstable, and needs to be continuously strengthened by the outside world. There are many ways to strengthen your child's self-affirmation.
Whenever a child makes a little achievement, or something that makes him proud, he may be rewarded; he can also teach his child to constantly praise himself by "talking to himself" - when the child is indecisive when encountering difficulties , you might as well encourage him to cheer himself up: "Come on, boy, you are a good boy who is not afraid of failure. Try again!"
- Reasonable self-affirmation
Parents should note that self-affirmation should also have a degree, it should be divided into time and occasion, and certain principles, standards and scales need to be followed when using it.
This is the same as drug treatment. Once the best medicine is used "overbearingly", it will not only fail to cure and save people, but will also cause new problems. Therefore, encouraging children with special inferiority complexes to do more self-affirmation does not mean allowing them to "abuse" self-affirmation.
- Reduce demand
Parents should appropriately lower the requirements for children with inferiority complex. What needs to be emphasized is that you want your child to feel that your appreciation for the child is completely sincere, not polite, and not hypocritical. To achieve this, you have to adjust your way of thinking and be artistic in your expression.
In fact, the primary goal of learning self-affirmation for children with low self-esteem is to help children derive satisfaction and motivation from their actions. We need to let children know that doing what they should do and doing it well is success in itself and the best affirmation for themselves.
- Ways to praise
One of the easiest and most convenient ways to get your child to do more self-affirmation is to replace the subject of all the compliments you give your child: "I" for "you", "we" (parents) Convert compliments to you (the child) into compliments to yourself. This simple change can more fully convince children that they are doing the right thing, thereby increasing their appreciation.
- Don't value other people's evaluations.
Parents can praise children with low self-esteem, but others may not fully do so. They may "tell the truth" or even be sarcastic. Moreover, children can not always rely on the evaluation of others, sooner or later they have to rely on their own inner motivation to move forward.
Some children are so dependent on adult approval that they don't even know how to know themselves. If such a child grows up to be a player, he may look back at the coach's face every time he hits the ball in the game, so it is naturally difficult to become a mature player. Point out his correctness, then remind him not to pay too much attention to other people's comments.