How to learn to say 'no'?

The following tips will help you on your journey of learning to say no.

First, change your mind.

Many people who can't say "no" have this obsession in their hearts:

"I hope everyone likes me"

"I can do anything"

When we hold this obsession, we place ourselves in the evaluation system of others. You simply don't have time to be yourself and consider your own needs. You're just too busy dealing with other people's lives to get a "you're really good" or "you're really great" review.

And this is just the ideal state. The real state is that no matter how hard you try, some people don't like you, some people think you're not doing well, it's not right. So, let go of your obsessions and stop expecting everyone to like you and recognize you. A "no" is naturally not that difficult to say.

Second, set a baseline for yourself.

For those who are just beginning to learn "can't", the learning process is as difficult as learning to walk as a child.

At this stage, you may not say no to everyone and everything, but at least learn to set a baseline for yourself.

For example, if you used to be the "head of the office", when something happened, anyone would think of you directly. You can set yourself a bottom line, "Be sure to finish the report this morning, others will have less demand".

Once you've set your bottom line, even if someone asks you for help, you can at least tell them: "I'm busy in the morning and can help you in the afternoon if you need it."

It's not the best outcome, but at least you've learned to say no.

Third, learn to refuse directly.

You must have had this experience. Your friend invites you to a weekend party. You are obviously tired this week and you just want to stay home until the end of the time. However, because of your friend's enthusiasm, you feel that rejection will hurt your friend's feelings. So, you vaguely say, "Let's talk about it later" and "I'll give you an answer in two days." As a result, you spend the next few days looking for a suitable reason to turn off the party.

Instead of that, start by simply saying, "I'm so tired this week, so I'm not going to the party this weekend."

In fact, it's not that you are too tired to go to the party, but that you are hesitant and ambiguous.

Fourth, learn to trust others.

People who are afraid of rejecting others have some sort of "savior" mentality. Fear of rejection, friends will feel sad, overwhelmed, or even unable to survive.

But in fact, when everyone made a request, they had already prepared two psychological expectations of "acceptance" and "rejection" at the same time.

No matter how you answer, you have already met 50% of his psychological expectations.

In addition, if the person who wants you to help translate the document is rejected by you, he will definitely find a suitable person to help him translate; if the person you want to help with PPT cannot find anyone, he will do it himself.

So, you don't have to be overly responsible for other people's expectations.

Finally, I wish you the courage to say "no" and live your life according to your own wishes.