People always need distance.
As with all relationships, in order to increase mutual intimacy, we take the initiative to express some of our emotions, attitudes, thoughts and feelings to each other. People on the platform will chat, but people at the dinner table still want to talk about life.
In psychology, we call this process self-exposure, and in social psychology, it can be incorporated into social penetration.
Because of this way of sharing information with others, we have the opportunity to get responses from them. Relationships deepen when each other feels the other's understanding, trust, approval, and concern.
Research has shown that the level of self-exposure is often closely related to feelings of love and dependence. Self-exposure is a key factor in love and dependence. The more love and dependence, the deeper and wider the self-exposure.
But the self-expression of this information also carries risks, as it depends on how others perceive the expression. This self-expression is frustrated if the other person’s response to it is indifference, misunderstanding rather than understanding, and depreciation rather than approval. Psychologist Delega once summed up some of the possible risks of self-exposure:
Indifference: We find the other person indifferent to our self-disclosure and not interested in learning more about us.
Repulsion: The expression of self-information attracts disgust from the other party.
Out of control: Some people will use our information to control us. For example I am afraid of cockroaches, maybe someone will use this to control me.
I don't trust the other person to accept me, and I don't think I can be accepted. The most harmful things often come from what we think of as intimate objects, so some people would rather confide in strangers than say a word to the people around them, precisely because strangers can provide an outlet, they don’t have to be careful to expose their belts. risk to come.
There is always a balance between hope and protecting ourselves. What we often do is control the information we expose and how much others know about us. Only when we feel safe do we share the selves we are willing to show.