When I get old, I know that sons and daughters have completely different reasons for being unfilial. The 80-year-old mother showed up to say
There is a saying that "you have to endure hardship to become a superior person", but it doesn't work for some old people. When you were young, you worked hard to bring up your children, hoping that your children would be filial and make your old age live better. Who? You know, when you are old, you are faced with a situation where no one cares. Both sons and daughters despise them, and they all feel that the old man is a burden, and the reasons for their unfilial piety have revealed many family flaws.
I don't know if you still remember such a real thing that happened? The 86-year-old man has 3 sons and 3 daughters, but when the old man should enjoy his old age, none of the sons and daughters showed up, and the old man was even thrown at the door by his brothers because he couldn't go home when it rained.
There are six children and none of them are filial. What is going on? It turned out that the old man's three daughters were already married. According to the local saying, the water splashed by the married daughter is not qualified to share the property with the son, so the daughter is not the main force to support the elderly. As a result, the responsibility of supporting the elderly falls on the heads of the three sons. Ordinarily, the three families will discuss and take turns to support the elderly. Isn't there any problem?
There are quite a lot of problems. The eldest son feels that he has already split the family and went out to pay. The old mother didn’t give anything at that time. The family was built by the husband and wife, so the elderly should be the business of the other two sons. . But the second son and the younger son felt that it was fair to be filial to the old man, so what was the matter with handing the old man to them both?
So the two sons drove the car and sent the old man back to the old family. When the boss saw the situation, he closed the door, obviously not wanting to accept the old man. The two brothers also had a way to put the old man at the door of the eldest son's house and open After getting in the car and running away, this is the beginning of the scene, the old man has no one to accept it.
The son is unfilial, each has his own reasons
The eldest son: The eldest son feels very wronged. The eldest daughter-in-law said that the old man did not help him at the time. They picked up the old man and let the old man cook for them, wash clothes and tend the vegetable garden, and let the old man go when their work in the fields was finished.
Now that the old man can't move, he just wants to send the old man to the old family. Of course, the boss has grievances. And the boss did this for a more important reason. Back then, the old man built a house for the second and third, and gave them all his savings. Because of the unfair distribution of property and the maintenance of the old man, they did not want to be responsible.
Second and third sons: They feel that they have the responsibility to support the elderly, and the boss doesn't care and can't take the lead. How can this be done? Now the old man has lost the ability to work and needs a lot of energy. The three sons should share it. They are very dissatisfied with the eldest brother. Most importantly, they are responsible for the old man's medical expenses. The eldest did not pay a penny. No matter, still messing with the sisters, and letting the daughter ignore the elderly, they also feel very unfair.
What is the reason for the daughter not to serve the elderly?
The old man said that his three daughters would come to take care of him, but he never took him home to live there. What does the daughter say? Several daughters said that the son should take care of the old man's property when he gave it to his son. They took the old mother back. Not only did the in-laws have opinions, but they also felt wronged. If you want your daughter to retire, you can just distribute the property to your daughter.
What are the reasons for sons and daughters to be unfilial?
Through the old man's personal experience, we can see that the reasons for children not to care for the elderly are different, and the son is mainly entangled in the distribution of property and the payment of the elderly. They feel that whoever has more property to the elderly and who has made a great contribution to the family should be old-aged.
And the daughter’s elders also feel aggrieved. Generally, daughters are told by their parents that when they grow up, they will follow other people’s surnames and have nothing to do with their parents’ family. However, when their parents are old, they are required to support them equally. If they want to pay, their dissatisfaction comes from their brothers at home. It is they who demand from their parents, and it is they who do not want to repay. Instead of being the main force, they ask their daughters to lead in everything. What is this?
From an old man in his 80s, we see sadness and sympathy, but also how she treated her children when she was young. Every child has resentment in their hearts, but it is the old mother who ultimately bears the consequences. What did you do wrong in raising your child through hard work? In fact, she was really at fault, because she did not treat every child fairly and justly.
Parents need a bowl of water to be level, so that mothers can be kind and filial to children, and brothers and feet can live in harmony
Parents are not gods, they can’t be fair in the true sense, but don’t be too partial. The reality is often that the elderly will always have a special preference for a child, give her the best resources in the family, enjoy the best treatment, and be a parent When there is authority, children dare not to speak out. When parents need their children, this conflict will rise, so there will be mutual shirk in support, and children are prone to disharmony.
What can parents do to have a better old age?
- Be optimistic
Raising children to prevent old age, many elderly people feel that they need to follow their sons when they are old, and do not need to discuss, but today's adults are under great pressure, work, family, children, etc., all aspects of expenses and energy are overwhelming them, so right The attention of the elderly will be very low, and the elderly should also be considerate. They should take care of their own bodies and have an optimistic attitude, so that they can have a decent old age. After all, only when they are healthy can they be more happy.
- Treat children fairly
The eccentricity of parents is the root cause of the problem of old age. Whether it is love or property, it must be distributed reasonably. Eccentricity is like a cancer that grows at the end of time, especially for families with many children. .
- Good family education
In our family education, it not only includes cultivating children's independence and good habits, but also education of various qualities. This also stems from parents' words and deeds. If parents have positive attitudes and are usually filial to their parents, then children There will be things to follow, and vice versa. Therefore, we have seen too many families. Parents reprimand their children for being unfilial, and the children talk back. Don't you do the same to my grandparents? One sentence makes the parents speechless, this is the power of family style.
Parents' partiality should not be a reason for unfilial piety
At any time, parents are the ones who raised us to grow up. Even if there is something wrong with them, when the elderly cannot take care of themselves, they must also fulfill their responsibilities as children, and partiality should not be a reason for not aging. Children who are neglected by their parents should abandon their previous suspicions, while children who are favored should pay more, and should rush ahead in everything, so as not to let other brothers and sisters feel cold.
If parents are partial, do you think their children will be filial?