Mom loses her temper, boy finds the best way to deal with it, emotional intelligence has reached the level of finding a girlfriend
This morning, my mother lost her temper and yelled at me angrily, and as a result, my whole body was scared and I ran away, my head flew into the universe, my stomach fell into the sea, and my wings fell into the tropics In the jungle, my mouth is stuck on the mountain, and my tail is lying on the street like a fan, all I have left is a pair of feet to run and run, I want to scream but have no mouth, I want to look but have no eyes, I wanted to fly, but I had no wings. I ran and ran, and in the evening, I ran to the Sahara desert. I was tired. At this time, a big shadow covered me. I got those lost parts back and sewed them back together, and finally found my foot, and it's all sewn.
The picture book uses anthropomorphic stories to tell you what kind of influence a mother's tantrums will bring to her children, and the book "Mom Who Gets A Tantrum" has won the highest honorary literature award in Germany every year, and the gold award in the children's picture book category. , it is the best reading for almost all families, every time I pick up this book, mothers start to reflect, am I losing my temper with my child again?
When a mother loses her temper, what is the most common reaction of a child, smothering her head and not speaking, waiting for her mother's bad temper to pass away? Still pouting, tears welling in your eyes? Or maybe he talked back to his mother and started to resist.
The mother's temper comes and disappears quickly. After getting angry at the child, she immediately regrets it, and quickly says sorry to the child, but the fire that is sent out is like splashing water. The mother who sees the child's indifference will get more and more angry, but what should the child do to make the mother's anger disappear quickly? A little boy, only three or four years old, gave us an example.
A little boy only three or four years old moved his mother's computer:
Mom: don't mess with my computer
Son: Mom, keep your voice down
Mom: I told you not to move
Son: Don't kill me, I'm your baby
Mom: Then you don't move, okay?
Son: Mom, if you kill me again, I will cry
My mother lost her anger after hearing this. This son is a typical example of salute before soldier. First, he asked his mother to be quiet, and then he showed his affection to his mother. We are mother and son. Threats, you are killing me, I will take out the killer. No wonder netizens said that this little guy has too many paragraphs, and his emotional intelligence can directly find a girlfriend.
Haha, I don't know if you still remember that joke, a boy excitedly asked his buddy to share, I have a girlfriend, and the buddy said sleepily, sorry! Boy don't know why, but honestly, I was wrong. Dude asked, what's wrong? The boy said embarrassedly, he didn't know what was wrong, but it was me. The buddy nodded with satisfaction, you already have the basic literacy of falling in love. Haha, it's true that you have the energy to coax your girlfriend to coax your mother.
The mother's temper has a great influence on the child
Austrian psychologist Adler once said that if a mother can't control her emotions, nagging and complaining all day long, then his daughter will become bitter and critical, and her son will always be on the defensive. , Afraid of being criticized, try to find opportunities to show your deference.
Hu Shi wrote in "My Mother" that if I have learned a little bit of good temper, if I have learned a little bit, if I can treat people with kindness, if I can forgive and understand others, I have to thank my loving mother.
A mother’s emotions will affect the child’s life. The good or bad mood will directly affect the child’s growth. When the child is first born, the emotional mechanism is basically zero. They will not manage their own emotions. Interacting, referencing and imitating, inadvertently learning how to manage emotions.
The mother is the closest person to the child and the person who spends the longest time with the child, so the mother's character is very important to the child. The child will unconsciously absorb the mother's personality as his own and express it, so if there is a good-tempered mother, the child will be gentle and calm, and if there is a grumpy mother, the child will also respond when encountering problems. It is easy to be emotionally extreme.
Having said so much, mothers will ask, I know it’s not good to lose my temper, but I can’t control myself, how can I deal with my emotions?
How does a mother manage her emotions?
1. Mothers should stay mentally relaxed
Nowadays, the pressure of life falls more on the mother. If the mother is also a working woman, then her pressure will increase exponentially. The various expenses of housework and family, the education of children and various trivial problems will make his emotions tense, just like the slower a bow is drawn, the greater the force it will bounce back. It may be a trivial matter. It will make him lose his temper, but if a mother is particularly relaxed, then the more tolerant he will be, the happier it will be to get along with the child.
It is also reminding all fathers and families that the wife's emotions need to be maintained and they also need to be concerned about not earning money to support the family, you can go back home, Ge You paralyzed father, appropriately relieve mother's emotions and help mother do some housework within her power. To accompany the child, let the mother take a rest, feel cared and understood, and emotionally will be especially good to the child.
2. Divert your attention
The reason why my mother always loses her temper is because she has trapped herself in the space. Mom should go out for a walk, meet friends, chat, relax, change the environment, and the mood will become different, even if it is Full-time mothers, don't make yourself very busy, very tired, and don't care about the child's details, trust the child's ability, don't do everything by yourself, cultivate the child's self-care ability, let the child learn to be alone, and be more attentive to the child Mother, the more clingy the child is, the mother should let go and let herself have time to rest.
3. Talk to someone close to you
Physiologists have found that talking can relieve the emotional center of the brain, help reduce pain , and always keep the problem in the heart. How can a mother be relaxed and happy, and how can he give the child a stable mood? If you really can’t hold back, you can cry. This is the cheapest way to vent. A scientist in the United States once found 200 men and women to do related crying research. Most of them felt that their emotional state was better after crying. Many, like the song Andy Lau sang, it is not a sin for a man to cry, but it is more natural for a woman to cry.
But here I want to remind mothers that it is also important to find someone to talk to. If your husband is naturally dull and your thoughts are not on the same channel, then talking to him is like playing the piano to the cow, and it is possible to quarrel while talking and let the mother’s Emotions can get worse, so finding a like-minded person to talk to is the best.
In fact, the mother is angry with the child. The problem does not lie with the child. All children will be naughty. He will definitely make many mistakes in his growth. This is forgivable and understandable. Mothers should learn to adjust their living conditions and spirits state, don't get yourself too tired, learn to release and decompress.
I have heard a sentence, why you always like to get angry with your children is because you are poor and tired . Although it is biased, it illustrates a problem. The mother's fear of the cost of living and education, as well as the indifference of the family, are the main reasons for the mother's emotional loss of control. If you want to solve the emotional problem, this is the root cause.