Li Meijin: Decades of hard work is not as good as the first year of the baby's birth

Guided reading

Now the pressure of life is very heavy. After giving birth, many couples ask their parents to help take care of the children, and they will choose to return to the workplace and work hard to earn milk powder money for their children and give them a better life.

Parents think that they are being responsible for their children, allowing them to live a good life and provide them with a better education in the next few decades, but in fact this kind of thinking is wrong.

Professor Li Meijin, an expert in Chinese criminal psychology, once said in public: decades of hard work and hard work in raising children are not as important as the first year of a baby's birth.

Li Meijin: Decades of nurturing is not as good as the first year of a baby's birth

Maybe some parents are very confused. The baby is just born and doesn’t understand anything, even people, so what’s the use of educating him to be with him?

In fact, in the first year of a newborn's birth, if the mother is not by her side, it is easy to cause the child's lack of inner security, and in severe cases, it will also cause various psychological problems in the child.

Whoever the newborn sleeps with is the relationship with whom

Nowadays, many young mothers will re-enter the life of the workplace immediately after giving birth, and give the children to their mother-in-law or parents to take care of them. In addition, the elderly really like their children very much. Therefore, in addition to breastfeeding and changing clothes, Don't worry about the rest.

However, the mother's idea is good, in order to earn more money for the child, but this does not help the child to establish a parent-child relationship with the mother.

Mothers should know that even though children are young, they have no way to express their thoughts and likes with words and behaviors, but they have a strong sense of dependence on their mothers, especially children before 1 year old.

If the mother fails to give the child this "sense of security" in time, then the baby will "retaliate" in a rebellious, mischievous, or even temper tantrum.

case

This is the case with the neighbor's child. Since the child was born and handed over to the grandmother, the relationship between the two is very good, even surpassing the relationship between the child and the mother.

Sometimes, mothers take their children out to play on weekends. After playing for a day, the first thing the children do when they get home is to go to grandma, and they never sleep with their mothers at night. As long as grandma is at home, they must lie beside grandma.

The more the neighbor thought about it, the more he felt "suffocated". He was pregnant in October and gave birth to the child, and he had to work hard to earn education expenses for the child, but the child did not kiss him, only the grandmother.

In fact, there are many such children in real life.

You must know that besides sleeping and "feeding" when a child is young, the most important thing is to be familiar with the smell of the people around him. Since he was taken by his grandmother since he was a child, the child has already belonged to the smell of his grandmother. Therefore, The relationship with grandma surpasses the relationship with mother.

Therefore, in the process of educating children, don't think that children don't understand anything when they are young, and it doesn't matter whoever takes care of them. This wrong parenting concept is very "fatal". Therefore, for the precious first year of the child, mothers Don't miss out.

What kind of help can a mother take care of her child?

1) Make children feel more secure

After the child is born, he is a stranger to the whole world, but he is familiar with his mother. If even the mother he is most familiar with leaves him at this time, the young heart will completely lose the sense of security, and this sense of security It will affect the child's entire childhood, and it is even possible to have "the idea that mother will abandon her at any time".

Especially for infants and young children before the age of 1, this kind of fragile heart is particularly sensitive. Therefore, mothers should give more care to their children and spend more time with them.

2) Have a good parent-child relationship foundation

Infants and toddlers cannot speak, they can only rely on smell to tell if they are "relatives", so everyone will find that when a stranger hugs the baby, the baby will cry immediately, because he has never smelled the smell of a stranger smelled.

If the mother has not been with the child since childhood, the child will not remember the mother's smell, which will have a great impact on the parent-child relationship in the future. Therefore, mothers who take care of the child in person can cultivate a good foundation for the parent-child relationship.

3) Happy childhood

"Mom" is the name that children call most when they are young.

Children are happiest when their mother is with them.

Therefore, mothers who take care of their children in person are not only beneficial to the parent-child relationship, but also give the children a happy childhood.

end

Mothers, please don’t miss the first year after the child’s birth, which is the foundation of the child’s education for decades to come. If you are not by your child’s side in the first year after birth, then you will work hard for decades in the future, and the child may be I won't be grateful to you, because you made him lose his sense of security since he was a child.