Li Meijin: Decades of hard work and blame are not as good as the first year of the baby's birth

Guided reading

Now life is very stressful. Many couples ask their parents to help take care of their children after giving birth, but they will choose to return to the workplace, work hard, earn milk powder money for their children, and give their children a better life.

Parents think that this is responsible for their children, so that children can live a good life and have a better education in the next few decades, but in fact this kind of thinking is wrong.

Professor Li Meijin, an expert in Chinese criminal psychology, once said in public: Nurturing a child for decades is not as important as the first year of a baby's birth.

Li Meijin: Nurturing for decades is not as good as the first year of the baby's birth

Some parents may be very puzzled. The baby has just been born and doesn't understand anything, not even anyone. What's the use of educating him to stay by his side?

In fact, in the first year of birth, if the mother is not by her side, it is easy to cause the child's lack of inner security, and in severe cases, it will lead to a variety of psychological problems in the child.

Whoever the newborn sleeps with is kissed

Nowadays, many young mothers will immediately re-enter the workplace after giving birth to their children, and give their children to their mother-in-law or parents to take care of them. In addition, the elderly really like children very much. Therefore, in addition to breastfeeding and changing baths, they usually Don't worry about the rest.

However, the mother's idea is good, in order to make more money for the child, but this does not help the child to establish a parent-child relationship with the mother.

Mothers should know that regardless of their children, they cannot express their thoughts and likes with words and behaviors, but their dependence on their mothers is very strong, especially for children before the age of 1.

If the mother cannot give the child this "sense of security" in time, the baby will "revenge" by being rebellious, naughty, and even throwing a tantrum.

case

This is the case with the children of the neighbors. Since the child was handed over to the grandmother as soon as it was born, the relationship between the two is very good, even more than the relationship between the child and the mother.

Sometimes, the mother takes the child out to play on weekends. After a day of playing, the first thing the child does when he comes home is to go to the grandma, and he never sleeps with the mother at night. As long as the grandma is at home, she must lie beside her.

The more the neighbors thought about it, the more "aggrieved" he became. He gave birth to the child in October, and he had to work hard to earn education expenses for the child, but the child did not kiss him, only his grandmother.

In fact, there are many such children in real life.

You must know that in addition to sleeping and "feeding milk" when a child is young, the most important thing is to be familiar with the smell of the people around him. Since he was brought by his grandmother when he was a child, the child has already belonged to the smell of his grandmother. Therefore, The relationship with the grandmother is more than the relationship with the mother.

Therefore, in the process of educating children, don’t think that children don’t understand everything when they are young, and it is the same for anyone to take care of them. This wrong parenting concept is very “fatal”. Therefore, for the precious first year of children, mothers But don't miss it again.

How can mothers take care of their children by themselves?

1) Make children feel more secure

After the child is born, he is unfamiliar with the whole world, only familiar with his mother. If even the most familiar mother leaves him at this time, then the young mind will completely lose the sense of security, and this sense of security It will affect the child's entire childhood, and may even produce "the idea that the mother will abandon herself at any time".

Especially infants and young children before the age of 1, this fragile heart is particularly sensitive, so mothers should give more care to their children and spend more time with them.

2) Have a good foundation of parent-child relationship

Infants and young children have no way to speak, they can only rely on smell to distinguish whether they are "relatives", so everyone will find that when a stranger hugs the baby, the baby will immediately cry, because he has never had the smell of a stranger. smelled.

If the mother is not with the child since childhood, the child will not remember the smell of the mother, which will have a great impact on the parent-child relationship in the future. Therefore, the mother can bring the child by herself, which can cultivate a good foundation for the parent-child relationship.

3) Happy childhood

"Mom" is the name that children call the most when they are young.

Children are happiest when their mother is by their side.

Therefore, mothers take care of their children in person, which is not only beneficial to the parent-child relationship, but also gives the children a happy childhood.

end

Mothers, please don't miss the first year after your child is born. This is the foundation of your child's education for decades to come. If you don't accompany your child in the first year after he is born, then if you work hard for decades in the future, your child may be Won't appreciate you because you made him feel insecure since he was a kid.