'Lovely mothers lose too many children'? In fact, it is not the loving mother who destroys the child, but three kinds of mothers
As the old saying goes: A loving mother has more ruined children.
Meaning: The more kind mother, the easier it is to raise failed children.
However, is the reason for the failure of the children really the "loving mother"? Because of everyone's misunderstanding of this sentence, many mothers have embarked on the road of "strict mothers".
Is it the mother's fault for the children of failure?
Let me tell you something that happened in real life, my best friend Yu Yu is a very standard "mother".
Her son likes to watch cartoons since he was a child, she agrees to the child, her son wants a toy car, she buys it for the child, even if the child loses the game and cries at the scene, she will not be angry, but comfort the child by the side .
Someone once told Yu Yu that children can't be spoiled like this, that mothers should be stricter, and be careful of the situation of "loving mothers and more spoiled children".
However, Yu Yu was not afraid, and did not take the words of her friends to heart, so she cultivated her children according to her own educational methods. After the accumulation of time, Yu Yu's children developed a lively and cheerful personality, and they were also very sensible. Parents came to ask Yu Yu how to raise their children.
In fact, Yu Yu is a typical example of a "loving mother", but the child did not raise a failed son as everyone thinks, so it also shows that the old saying "a kind mother has more failed children" does not refer to all mothers. , just for some individual.
- A "kindness" without a bottom line will raise a loser
"Ci" is not to be tolerant of children in everything. "Ci" is good for children, not indulgence of children. "Ci" without bottom line will only harm children.
A child is like a small tree. If it is not straightened, the small tree will grow and become crooked, and so will the child.
- "Merciful" refers to gentleness, not letting go
Many mothers have misunderstood the meaning of "loving mother", thinking that "loving mother" means regardless of the child, not criticizing the child, and the child will do whatever he wants.
And "kind mother" really means to protect the child with tenderness, not to let go of the child.
In fact, it is not the loving mother who destroys the child, but these three kinds of mothers
Type 1: Doting mothers
Many mothers have mistaken the meaning of "mother" and often regard "mother" as doting to take care of their children.
When the child grows up under the "domination" of the mother, this will make the child lose the opportunity to try, and also lose the hands-on words. Slowly, the child will even lose the opportunity to think independently, and even let the child develop Proud and conceited personality, when he grows up, he will talk back to his parents.
The second type: the controlling mother
A mother who is too controlling is easy to raise the legendary "mother's treasure" and "giant baby".
For a mother with a strong desire to control, not only will control all the growth of the child, but also control the child's thoughts.
It even makes the child dare not think independently. When encountering anything, he will first ask his mother, and then follow his mother's advice. If his mother does not allow him to do it, he will never do it. When he grows up, he will even need some trivial things. Ask your mother for her opinion.
In the end, the mother believes that everything should be listened to by herself. Once the child has his own ideas, the parent-child relationship will easily break down, and there will also be conflicts between the mother and the child.
The third type: mothers who do not listen to their opinions
This kind of mother is not only very strong in daily life, but also does not listen to other people's opinions when it comes to educating children.
This kind of extreme mother, if there is no problem in educating the child, it will be fine. Once there is a problem, the mother will not be able to find it, and will only go further and further down the wrong path, and even there is no way to change it in the end.
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You must know that parents are the closest people in children's life, and mothers are the guides on the way of children's growth. If mothers make mistakes in education, the impact on children will be huge.
A "loving mother" doesn't hurt the child, and a "loving mother" doesn't have a failed child, and it's the mother who doesn't educate the child that really causes it.