The 11-year-old daughter does all the housework and lives like a 'nanny', but her mother is still dissatisfied with her
If there are multiple children in a family, even if the parents do not deliberately favor anyone, they will subconsciously favor the younger children more. Under the unfair treatment of parents, older children will inevitably be hurt, and some children can only show their sensibleness in this situation.
The 11-year-old daughter does all the housework and lives like a "nanny", but her mother is still dissatisfied with her
In a family with three children, the father does not come home often because of his busy work, and the children are taken care of by the mother. But this mother is very partial to the younger children, letting the eldest daughter take care of all the housework and take care of the younger siblings, which seems very distressing.
The eldest daughter is only 11 years old, but she is like a "nanny" in this family, not only washing dishes, mopping the floor, and doing all kinds of chores. When there is a conflict with the younger sister, the mother will only ask her to let the younger sister; the eldest daughter also wants to play with her mother, but seeing that her mother only cares about her younger brother, she does not have the courage to express her needs.
But my mother was still very dissatisfied with her, she thought she was dawdling, and she took it for granted that the younger brother could just walk and the younger sister was young, so she had to take on more responsibilities as an older sister. When the eldest daughter wanted to hug her mother, her mother even felt disgusted: "Do children in grade 3 and above need hugs so much?"
This mother has too many excuses and reasons to explain her partiality, just because the eldest daughter did not grow up with her parents, and there is a deep sense of distance between the mother and daughter.
An 11-year-old girl, no one really cared about her in the face of her mother's pressure and her sister's willfulness. The girl's eyes were full of numbness, grievance, and loss, and she had a helpless expression that a child should not have, which was really distressing.
What happens to children who lack parental care when they grow up?
Sensitive, inferior, emotional
Such children have not been loved by their parents since they were young. They are always cautious, for fear that they are doing something wrong, because they are always denied, so they will also lose self-confidence. However, children always yearn for the attention and love of their parents. Affected by these emotions, the children's psychology will become very unhealthy. When they grow up, they may be unable to control their emotions and behave more extreme.
low interpersonal skills
Because these children did not receive enough love and attention in childhood, they will lack love, so when they grow up, they cannot tell whether a person is sincere to them in interpersonal communication. Especially in the process of falling in love and making friends, these children have become accustomed to unilateral giving, and in their future love life, this kind of performance is likely to bring harm again.
Rebellion is more intense
When children reach adolescence and rebellion, once they have the opportunity to "leave" the family, they will be very alienated from the family and resist getting along with their younger siblings. At home, they feel very depressed, and may show stronger resistance than ever before, from words to behavior, and may unconsciously slander their family members. When children grow up, they can only use such means to "protect" themselves. .
The two-child policy has been opened, and many families are now planning to have a second child. So what should parents do in a multi-child family?
Treat every child equally
Equal treatment is not to ask parents to divide everything in half, but to consider the level of acceptance of children, to be as fair and just as possible, so as not to make older children feel unfair, and to teach younger children some truths . When children conflict, parents should be more fair and just, and older children should not bear all the mistakes.
Family education should also be "different" from person to person
There is a gap in the age of children. Parents should give different care and love to different children. Small children always have to worry more. Older children who are relatively independent should give them more psychological and emotional attention, and give them more attention. The material conditions should not be favored over the other, and it should be as fair as possible to the children.
Message:
The ending of an eccentric family is somewhat regrettable or distressing. Parents should treat every child equally and not hurt their children's hearts because of their eccentricity and preference.