Rich but busy parents, and poor but family-oriented parents, the choices their children make are thought-provoking
When raising children, parents are always faced with a choice between work and caring for the family. Some parents are busy with work and socializing, and have no time to take care of their children; some parents give up their jobs and choose to accompany their children to grow up.
So in the eyes of children, how do rich but busy parents and poor but family-friendly parents choose?
I once watched a Korean variety show, and the host asked a few young guests to choose between these two kinds of parents. The result is very surprising, several children honestly chose "rich but busy parents" , why is this?
A child explained: "If parents have no money, even if they take care of the family, because they are poor, they will leave bad memories."
Another child said bluntly: "I don't want to live in a house with only a nose!"
The choices made by these children and the reasons behind them are both surprising and thought-provoking.
Hearing the children's answers, they seem to pay more attention to material conditions than family relationships, like spoiled children from rich families. It's hard to believe that such young children, who haven't experienced much of the world, have such realistic thoughts.
However, this is only an isolated example. If you were a child who lacked parental love since childhood, the answer might be different.
After all, these children are making choices under this assumption. In real life, these two kinds of parents are very common, but there are also rich and family-oriented parents, and poor and busy parents.
But I have to admit that in today's society, with the family income getting higher and higher, the phenomenon of children's "emphasis on material things and less on feelings" is becoming more and more prominent.
How is the phenomenon of children's "emphasis on material over feelings" caused?
▶ Rich parents spoil their children
Children today are much happier and have better material conditions than before. Many parents had a hard time when they were young, so they thought about making up for the child, and the child could satisfy him with everything he wanted. Children grow up spoiled and get what they want easily.
▶ Parents are busy with work and lack company
Some parents are busy with work or go out to work because of their livelihood, and leave their children to the elderly. Every time parents go home to see their children, they will buy gifts and toys for their children, but they do not really spend time with their children to play games and chat with them. to chat with. As a result, the child gets only material things, not the love of the parents, resulting in a cold parent-child relationship.
In the final analysis, it is all because parents give their children too much or too little love. Parents should pay attention to the education of their children. They should spend more time with their children than spend money.
Whether the family is wealthy or not, parents should be willing to spend time with their children
Many parents complain that their children are "not close" to them, but have you ever calculated how much time you spend with your children every week?
Parents do not stay with their children 24 hours a day, but through active communication and interaction, let the children feel your love for them. On the other hand, some parents play mobile phones with their children, even if they stay at home all day, it is only "ineffective companionship".
Parents can use these time periods to "effectively accompany" their children:
①On the way to school
I pass by an elementary school after get off work, and I often see rows of parents waiting for their children to leave school. When the child got into the back seat of the parent's car, the parents began to ask: "How much homework is there today?" "The teacher said that you were disobedient in class, what happened?" …
When parents pick up their children to and from school, they can chat with their children about their classmates and their studies. Many children will happily share what happened at school to their parents. But parents should also pay attention to the gentle tone and listen to their children patiently.
②At the dinner table
According to statistics, about 30% of Chinese parents cannot accompany their children to dinner. Dinner was originally a very warm time. Parents can use this time to enhance their relationship with their children, but many parents have turned it into "discipline time".
When it is time to eat, parents start to ask about grades, check homework, compare with other children, etc., which makes children in a state of tension and depression, affecting appetite, indigestion and so on. Parents should not teach or scold their children during mealtimes.
③Before going to bed
When many children are young, parents will tell their children stories before going to bed to spend a good parent-child time. But when children grow up, they don't like to listen to these fairy tales, and the communication time between parents and children is gradually replaced by mobile phones.
Parents should put down their phones and work earlier, chat with their children before going to bed, review what happened throughout the day together, or review new knowledge learned today, think about plans for tomorrow, etc. Not only helps with sleep, but also enhances memory.
④ Free time
No matter how busy parents are at work, they should take some free time to accompany their children, play games, do handicrafts, watch cartoons, read books, go outdoor sports and so on. In the process of interaction and communication with children, parents shorten the distance between parents and children.
During the holidays, you can also arrange trips with your children, take them to increase their knowledge, adapt to different environments, and come into contact with people and cultures from different regions. It can cultivate children's outgoing and positive personality and ability to deal with problems, which is of great help to their future development.
Tell your parents:
Presumably many parents are aware that children who have not been accompanied by their parents since childhood may also have problems such as rebellious character, violent behavior, and giving up their studies. Money is endless, but children grow up unknowingly. Parents miss the time for their children to grow up, and no amount of money will be able to make up for the lack of company in the future.