Will the child grow up to be promising? It is closely related to these three sentences of parents, the more you talk about the child, the more useless

After dinner, I was about to take a break when I was about to read a book, when suddenly my cousin called and complained to me crying.

I was also taken aback by the cry on the other side. After first appeasing my cousin's emotions, I tentatively asked what was wrong.

It turned out to be her children's work. This matter has probably been tossed since last year. The only son of the cousin's family didn't take the initiative to find a job after graduating from the senior year. Earn money part time.

My cousin saw that it was not good to continue like this, so she and her husband took turns to persuade her to go out and try to find a job. She couldn't stay at home all the time, right?

But who knows that the child's reaction is extremely fierce, saying that he can't do anything, and he doesn't know what to do when he goes out, and he refuses to do the work that is too dirty and tiring. '

This made the cousin-in-law anxious, but she also dared to drive people out to work too hard. It was not easy to ask someone to find a good job. The child also reluctantly asked and nodded in agreement, but he I encountered a situation where the COVID-19 epidemic delayed the start of work.

I had no choice but to wait for the work unit to resume work, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, there was a notice that it was possible to go to work, but the child suddenly refused to go. Because of this, the family made a mess, and it was very uneasy.

My cousin said regretfully: ''I shouldn't have been so used to him in the first place. If you look at him, he has become a crippled person, with no prospects at all. '' After she finished speaking, she couldn't help crying.

After hanging up the phone, I also felt a lot of emotion. I wrote this article to talk to you about whether the child will grow up or not. In fact, it has some connection with what the parents said, but don’t underestimate it, otherwise the child will become more and more The more useless.

One: Don't say these three words again

Jimmy's cartoon wrote: ''Children would rather be stinged by a cactus than listen to their parents' cynicism''. Parents' words have a great influence on children. Sharp language is like a bayonet, stinging children's weak hearts.

There are some words that parents may be impulsive when they say it, but helpless, the speaker is unintentional, and the listener is intentional. If parents often talk about the following three sentences, their children will become more and more useless when they listen to them too much:

1. ''If success is not enough, there is more than failure, don't add chaos, just go''

Because of their strong curiosity and strong imitation ability, children are very keen to learn and think actively at the beginning and want to practice.

However, due to their limited ability, some things may go wrong when they try for the first time. At this time, some parents will impatiently reprimand their children: ''If success is not enough, there is more than failure, don't add trouble, go away''

Such an approach will directly stifle the initiative and enthusiasm of the child, and the child will feel aggrieved and sad, thus reducing the motivation to think about learning, and will not take the initiative to try, and gradually, will become inactive.

2.''This child is timid and laughed at it''

No matter what age group you are, when you try to operate for the first time, you will feel nervous, and maybe make mistakes in operation under great pressure.

Not to mention the words of children. When they come into contact with the unknown, they are both curious and fearful. At this time, they need the encouragement and guidance of their parents.

However, when some parents see their children are nervous or appear to be escaping, they will directly say a sentence: ''This child is timid, laughing at it'' and then no longer guide the child to try.

Over time, instead of teaching children to learn how to operate, they help children to escape with excuses early, then there will definitely be adverse effects, and children will not be able to form a sense of responsibility.

3. ''Our family has no money, don't waste it lavishly''

Some families may indeed have poor economic conditions, or parents want to guide their children to learn to be diligent and thrifty, so they often use the phrase ''Our family has no money, don't waste it lavishly'' to hinder children's consumption.

But in many cases, children's needs for a certain item are out of curiosity. If parents want to avoid wasting expenses, the correct way should be to inform their children to understand rational analysis and let them know which expenditures are acceptable. Save, set the right values.

And if you always directly instill the idea of ​​''the family is poor'' in your children, the children will really feel that they are children of poor families, and they will not only stop expressing their own needs, but also show it in front of outsiders. More introverted.

Therefore, the above three sentences, parents must not say to their children again, if they want their children to become a person with good character and learning, they still need to adopt correct educational methods.

Two: Parents should do this

Spencer, a well-known writer and minister of education, once said: Maybe parents will not accumulate a lot of property in their lives, nor will they have much fame. But parents can let their good words, deeds and good experiences influence their children, which is the best and most valuable property parents give their children.

Parents are children's first teachers, and their words and deeds in life have a great impact on children. Therefore, we should use correct methods to truly understand children's needs and desires, and guide them to develop in the right direction.

For example, in our daily life, in a reasonable position, we can let children's actions and thoughts go, give children more space for free growth, and let children have the ability to think divergently.

You can also try to list the excellent performances of the children one by one, so that the children can see their own advantages and cultivate the children's advantages such as being positive, sharp thinking and so on.

You must know that parents' affirmation and support are the source of children's self-confidence and courage. We parents should be the most "loyal fans" of children. We should also pay attention to avoid negative evaluation of children in daily life. Otherwise, it may cause a self-cognition deviation to the child, and there is no self-confidence and courage to break through the self.