Is the child ready to be the eldest child?

For most families, it is a joy to welcome new members in the family, but for the eldest eldest in the family, he is somewhat worried that he will no longer be favored, or even the so-called degenerate behavior. The doctor reminded that although younger children need to be taken care of, don't forget to observe Dabao's reactions and give equal attention as much as possible.

Jealousy is common in Dabao, and it is also a very reasonable behavior. Parents do not need to deny the emotions that naturally arise in their hearts. Since such a feeling occurs, parents should accompany the child to face it, understand the cause of the occurrence, reduce the probability of future occurrence, and also use this to correct inappropriate behavior.

Different age, different level of worry

For younger children, there is usually a feeling of anticipation and curiosity when learning that a new member will be added to the family, and fewer children show obvious jealousy at the beginning.

As for older children, facing the addition of new members, they will inevitably feel worried. If they are children who are prone to nervousness in their own temperament, the feeling of worry will be stronger. However, because their emotional cognitive development is not yet complete, It's not easy to express your inner feelings clearly.

Get more attention by imitating younger siblings

When Erbao joined the original family, some mothers began to find that Dabao had already passed the milk-drinking stage, but from time to time he clamored to drink milk from a bottle, otherwise he would cry inexplicably and want someone to hug him. interpreted as degenerate behavior. To explain degeneration, it is more common to use newly learned skills, and to degrade in a short period of time. Common typical manifestations are bed-wetting, cheating, asking others to help with things, etc. The manifestations are related to age.

In addition to degeneration, some big treasures in the family will begin to imitate the actions of their younger siblings, such as crying, wanting to drink milk from a bottle, etc. They may think that by doing this, they will get more attention from their parents and they will receive more care like younger siblings, and these behaviors mostly occur in preschool children.

Is your child ready to be the boss?

Do a good job of psychological construction in advance, pay attention to speaking skills

Instead of worrying about Dabao's unusual behavior, let him know about the upcoming arrival of his younger brother and sister earlier. When the mother's pregnancy signs are stable, Dabao can try to touch the pregnant belly to indirectly let him feel that a new member is coming, and through daily reminders, Dabao can gradually accept the new life that is about to appear.

While communicating with Dabao, parents should also pay more attention to their words, for example: say "you are going to be a brother or sister!", and avoid words like "you will help take care of your younger brothers and sisters later." A reminder appears. Such words may be understandable to a child with strong initiative and a strong sense of responsibility, but for a child who is young and does not understand the meaning of "new members want to join", it is inevitable that "Why do I want to join?" Questions such as taking care of a new life” may even generate a pressure. It is suggested that these words can be changed to “mom and dad will become a little busy”, “may not have as much time to play with you as before” , Let the child know clearly about the actual situation that will be encountered, and leave the expected situation to the child to experience in the future, and do not take the initiative to remind the child of pressure and expectations.

Gifts to Dabao, not all children are suitable

I often hear parents mention that in order to reduce Dabao's inner sense of imbalance, he will prepare gifts for Dabao when his younger brother and sister are born, and say "this is a gift from your younger brother and sister", but is this appropriate?

This kind of practice is very common. It can be said that it is not so much to balance Dabao's heart, but it can be said to make a good first impression between the two, but this is not suitable for children of all ages, and it is necessary to consider the cognitive ability of children. Otherwise, the effect may not be achieved.

In the middle and late pregnancy, increase the time to interact with the father

During the mother's delivery or confinement period, Dabao's emotional adjustment is a headache for many parents. From the middle and late pregnancy, the mother should slowly take the child to adjust, and don't wait until the child is born to adjust. If the mother is the main caregiver of Dabao, it is necessary to increase the time between Dabao and the father during pregnancy. For the more sensitive children, there may be some rejection at the beginning. If the father himself is not good at interacting with the child , you should discuss the usual mode and time of getting along with the child with the mother as soon as possible, and try to learn to imitate.

However, doing this does not mean that the mother is to be separated from the life of Dabao all at once. During the process of the father's initial participation, the mother can still accompany him. For older Dabao, you can use the way of storytelling, read interesting plots, and help fathers who have not yet started parenting.

During the confinement period, the mother basically has no time to take care of the big treasure. It is recommended that in the last three months of pregnancy, the mother will start to reduce the interaction with the child in a timely manner. If the child asks for the mother, the father can say something like "Mom is a little uncomfortable right now. It can not only reduce the anxiety of children, but also reduce the pressure of mothers. It is suggested that fathers can use activities that children are interested in to help improve their parent-child relationship.

During confinement period, get along with mother in time

Even if parents use appropriate words to reduce Dabao's anxiety about his mother's absence, the child is bound to go through a period of crying and adapting to the sudden absence of his mother. Families can take their children to the confinement center to increase more interaction time. However, if the management of the confinement center is strict, it can be changed to use holidays or other leisure time to bring the child to meet and chat with the mother, which can also be avoided. Dabao and his mother become too estranged. In addition, there is no need to hand over all caring responsibilities to the father, and seek help from other family members in a timely manner, which can also gradually bring the busy family back to the right track.

Avoid sibling comparisons

When Dabao and Erbao began to live together, it was not easy for parents to be fair to both children. Avoid making comparisons between children, and don’t let Dabao think why everything should be done to small children. Different children have different temperaments and personalities. Such comparisons are meaningless, especially for older Dabao. , Once you feel that your status has dropped a lot, it will be more difficult to adjust your mood, and even become a competitive relationship with siblings, which will destroy each other's feelings instead, parents must be careful.