Professor Li Meijin: There are four kinds of rebelliousness in children, and mothers have to beat them when they should, and they can't be used to it
Children's education has always been a headache for parents. In the concept of the older generation, children "can't be successful if they don't fight". Today's parents care more about their children's psychological growth, and believe that beating and scolding children cannot solve the fundamental problem.
When faced with a child's mistakes, parents are always worried that if the punishment is too heavy, it will damage the child's self-esteem and self-confidence, and if it is too light, they are afraid that they will not be able to "beat" the child well, which can be described as a "dilemma."
The "concession" of her parents when she was a child made her "suicide" when she grew up
Wang Xiao's daughter Yiyi is 3 years old. Recently, Yiyi seems to have entered a "rebellious period". She likes to go against her parents in everything. She wants to do things that Wang Xiaoyue doesn't let her do.
While shopping that day, Yiyi took a fancy to a doll and asked her mother to buy it for her. Wang Xiao said that there are already a lot of dolls at home, and the ones bought back before have not been played with much, so they will not buy them this time.
Ke Yiyi wanted to buy it, but after crying, she lay down outside the store and rolled around.
Looking at the poor daughter, Wang Xiao's heart softened. She thought, anyway, a doll is not worth much, so just buy it if your daughter likes it, it's better than making her sad. So Wang Xiao compromised.
In a blink of an eye, Yiyi is in junior high school. Seeing that many students in the class have smartphones, she also wants to buy one, but Wang Xiao thinks that junior high school children have weak judgment and are easily disturbed by bad information on the Internet. It is too early to get a mobile phone, so she disagrees.
Yiyi saw that her mother was unmoved no matter what she said, she even cried while saying that her parents didn't love her anymore and she wanted to commit suicide. This frightened Wang Xiao. In order to avoid her daughter committing suicide again, she had no choice but to agree to buy a mobile phone.
It is precisely because of Wang Xiao's unrestrained "doting" on her daughter that Yiyi knows that as long as she threatens her parents, she can get what she wants.
Professor Li Meijin: There are four types of rebellion in children, and they must be beaten when they should
Many parents feel that their children are ignorant when they are young, and even if they make mistakes, they don't have the heart to blame their children too much. Maybe when children are three or four years old, they will only make their parents compromise by crying, playing tricks, etc., but when they are thirteen or fourteen years old, once their parents cannot meet their requirements, they may do some extreme behaviors to threaten their parents. At that time, it may be too late to think about disciplining children properly.
Therefore, when children are young, parents should set good rules for their children and firmly enforce them. Only by establishing the authority of parents and "giving both grace and power" to children can children form good education and habits.
Professor Li Meijin believes that when a child exhibits the following four rebellious behaviors, parents must not tolerate it, and beat them when they should.
- Not respecting elders
Respecting the elders is one of the basic principles of being a human being. If children are not polite when they are young, they will be "defiant" when they grow up. Parents should teach their children to be polite from an early age, and if they find that their children disrespect their elders, they should correct them in time.
- No rules
As the saying goes: there is no rule without rules. The harmony of society and interpersonal communication is established under a certain order. Children without rules will become lawless, unable to adapt to society, and even go to extremes when they grow up. Therefore, parents should let their children know the principles and rules of life from an early age.
- Swear at people and throw things when losing your temper
Everyone has emotional instability, especially children. When a child is unhappy, parents should teach the child to vent their emotions in a reasonable way, instead of venting through bad actions such as swearing at people and throwing things. Otherwise, when you grow up, it will be difficult to handle your emotions well and do things that hurt others and yourself.
- If you are not satisfied, you will threaten your parents
As children grow older and want more and more things, they will make demands and conditions with their parents. If the child cries and cheats, the parents will compromise, then the child will make progress, and when the child is not satisfied, he will threaten the parents with extreme behavior, forming a vicious circle.
If a child exhibits some of the above behaviors, parents need to take it seriously, and if necessary, they can use "stick education" to make the child a warning. Of course, children's growth is always full of "contradictions" with their parents' expectations. More often than not, parents should use their own words and behaviors to infect their children. Good communication is the fundamental way to solve problems.
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