Why did grandma quit the ''carrying baby circle'', but grandma became the ''main force''? Parents should know
foreword
Now many young parents are dual workers. After giving birth to a child, they usually choose to let the child's grandparents or Lele's grandfather help.
In the past, grandma usually took care of the children, but recently, grandma has withdrawn from the ''carrying baby circle'', and grandma has become the main force of carrying babies.
case
Mingli is a new mother. From pregnancy to confinement, Mingli's mother has been taking care of her closely. During this time, Mingli's mother worked very hard, but she had no complaints. After Mingli's six-month maternity leave is over, who will take care of the baby becomes a big question.
At the beginning, the couple discussed and decided to ask the husband's mother to take care of the child, because Mingli's mother has worked hard for a long time. The mother-in-law came to bring the child for two months, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was increasing day by day. Mingli felt that her mother-in-law's method of raising children was a bit old-fashioned and unscientific, but her mother-in-law felt that Mingli was too pretentious, and raising a child was harder than the college entrance examination.
Neither of the two sides accepted the other, and in the end the dispute could not be settled, and Mingli's mother-in-law returned to her hometown. Because the child was suddenly gone, and Mingli and his wife were busy with work again, Mingli's mother had to come to help take care of the child again. This story is just a microcosm of today's elderly with children. Due to various reasons, my grandmother gradually quit the baby-carrying circle, but my grandmother became the main force of baby-carrying.
1. Why did grandma quit the ''carrying baby circle'', but grandma became the ''main force''
1. Conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a century-old problem since ancient times, and it is difficult for many families to solve it. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as two people living in different environments, are connected because of a common man, and they all have their own values and ways of life. Therefore, they will inevitably have friction and contradictions under the same roof.
Some husbands do not play the role of a good lubricant. Not only did they not alleviate the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but they magnified the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and increased family problems. Because the parenting concept of the older generation is very different from that of the younger generation, the difference in concept between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law makes the contradiction between them more acute.
2. Grandma feels more distressed for her daughter
Although the daughter-in-law is also called the mother-in-law ''mother'', there are still some gaps between the two, and they cannot care for each other without selfishness like a real mother and daughter.
The grandmother is different. As the biological mother of the daughter, the grandmother generally does not care about her daughter easily. Instead, she will especially feel sorry for her daughter, always thinking of sharing her worries for her own child.
3. Communication between mother and daughter is barrier-free
The mother-daughter connection, coupled with the fact that the mother-in-law has raised his wife for 20 to 30 years, she has a special understanding of the wife's temperament. Therefore, if the grandma is brought to take care of the children, if there are some differences in parenting concepts, the grandma can communicate with the wife more conveniently and effectively, which is conducive to the efficient and rapid resolution of things.
2. The pros and cons of bringing a baby across generations
1. Reduce parenting stress for young couples
The direct reason for the generation of children is to relieve the parenting pressure of young couples. The pace of life in modern society is fast, young people are under great work pressure, and the cost of living is also increasing. Therefore, in the face of high living costs, many parents who have given birth to children do not dare to quit their jobs to take care of their children.
This has spawned a group of elderly people who go to their children's residences to help with the baby. In addition, when the elderly take care of their children, they also increase the time they spend with their children and grandchildren, so that the elderly can enjoy the joy of family.
2. Increase the physical burden of the elderly
Raising children for the elderly is also a physical activity. Cooking meals for children, taking children to play in the park, and taking children to kindergarten all require a lot of physical effort for the elderly.
After all, the energy of the elderly is not as good as that of young people, so sometimes when they bring their babies, they will not be able to keep up with their physical strength, increasing their physical burden and burying potential safety hazards for their health.
Summarize
There are pros and cons to bringing a baby from another generation, and young people must carefully consider it when choosing. Moreover, whether it is a grandma with a baby or a grandmother with a baby, parents take it with a calm mind. Young people should not take it for granted when their parents help them take care of their children, but should be grateful to their parents and be considerate to their parents.