Girls should be rich, boys should be poor? When raising a child is ''gender bias'': it will ruin the child's growth

''As a boy, let him suffer a little more so that he can better shoulder the family responsibilities in the future. As for girls, they must be 'tenderly' raised, so that their vision will be higher, and they can't be cheap for a while, which boy! ~''

Hearing the chatting content of people in several communities sitting in the gazebo, I couldn't help but hold my forehead and sighed: It's 2020! How can some people still believe in the educational philosophy of "girls should be rich and boys should be poor"? ?

Speaking of the phenomenon of 'the poor and the rich', in some families, it is not just a talk, but also a reality. It is obvious that they are all born by the same parents, one is spoiled as a little princess and the other Then he was treated as a little beggar and wronged Baba.

Obviously they are all blood-related children, why do they have to create polarization? Moreover, this obvious ''gender prejudice'', but parents don't care, and feel that their actions are for the good of their children.

Please stop! When raising a child has ''character prejudice'', doing so will only destroy the child!

1: False gender bias

The so-called gender prejudice refers to rashly making unfair judgments based on one's subjective consciousness or fixed thinking without further research on the basis of gender.

There are many kinds of common thoughts and behaviors, such as the educational concept of ''girls should be rich and boys should be poor'' as we mentioned at the beginning.

And in daily life, people's choices and behavior judgment differences between men and women are the most common - boys should play with robots, girls should play with dolls, or girls should like pink, and boys should play It is ''not normal'' for a child to like pink.

Such judgments are based on gender bias. Fundamentally, it is a one-sided misunderstanding, which we do not advocate. If it is used in education, it will also have adverse consequences and influences. .

Here I would like to say that although there are differences between boys and girls, they are also physiological differences, and the differences in intelligence and other differences are subtle. Parents should not directly define gender based on gender, but should start from the perspective of gender. The children themselves look at educational issues and development plans.

Two: Where did the idea of ​​gender bias come from?

All causes must have consequences. The emergence of gender prejudice is not out of nothing, but is more influenced by many factors, mainly in the following two aspects:

1. The influence of ancient feudal thought

Under the traditional Chinese ideology, the concept of gender bias is deeply ingrained in many parents.

But it should be noted that the ancient times had a special historical and cultural background. At that time, the army was in chaos. Boys were forced to choose to fight in the army, while girls had to learn textile technology to provide material supplies. Such division of labor is only limited by methods. The conditional requirements are not applicable to the present.

After all, feudal ideology appeared and existed for a long time. As a result, people today still have some remnants of feudal and backward ideology, which has led to the emergence of wrong ideas such as gender bias in education.

2. The public concept of society

In daily life, in fact, there are still many subtleties in the problem of men and women. We always like to separate the education of boys and girls, for example: ''You are a boy, you can't easily shed tears! ''''You are a girl, you must know how to be gentle and reserved, don't jump around all day! ''

These requirements of parents are subtly conveying the idea of ​​gender bias, which limits the child's behavioral ability and character development.

However, some studies have shown that the differences between boys and girls are not born, and the differences between genders are mainly acquired.

Scientists have proposed a concept of brain plasticity, arguing that human experience itself will change the structure and function of the brain. That is to say, the difference between boys and girls is originally small, but it is precisely because such a concept has been instilled in the process of growth that this difference has been continuously expanded.

In a 1986 analysis of more than 100 studies, Canadian psychologist Warren Eaton found that gender differences widened throughout childhood.

It can be seen that the concept of gender difference mainly comes from a deep-rooted traditional concept. The difference between men and women exists, but it is not huge, but once it is exaggerated, it will bring many adverse effects on the growth of children.

Three: The adverse effects of gender bias on children

The ultimate negative consequences of wrong ideological and educational concepts such as gender prejudice are to limit the development of each child, restrict their behavior, and at the same time, because their own ideas and choices are not understood, they will be interested. Harm to the mind and body.

Just from the fact that "the poor raise a child, and the rich raise a daughter", the impact on the child may destroy the child:

1. The boy's psychological burden is too heavy

Many parents are also racking their brains in the aspect of ''being poor''. They are not only ''poor'' in terms of economy and material, but also ''stingy'' in spiritual needs. If you can have great prospects, you can exercise a ''steel-like will''. The key is that some parents are not only "poor and supportive", but they are not stingy in their requirements. They want to be small and large, and put forward excessive demands on boys, which leads to great physical and mental burdens on their children.

2. Girls are easily spoiled and arrogant

''Girls need to be rich'' has made many parents ''crazy'', trying to spend money on their daughters, as if they were afraid that their children would be short-sighted and low-minded. In the vast majority of cases, the child will have the wrong view of money and values, spend money recklessly, and be arrogant and arrogant.

3. Limit the development of children

Boys are obviously talented and capable in a certain field, but they cannot get professional training and training because they are ''poor'', and in the end they can only bury their talents. Girls are forced to learn a lot of special skills. Parents think that their children can develop all-round talents. In the end, they may be mediocre and have no advantages and specialties.

Moreover, parents are subject to gender prejudice leading to differences in educational methods. If there are children in the family, such differential treatment will inevitably lead to negative emotions in the sons. They will hate why they are the biological children of the same parents, but they are unfairly treated. Treatment, you may also feel wronged because of this, and feel that you are really bad, so you are not loved by your parents, and that is why your parents treat you so badly. Over time, too many negative emotions are accumulated, and family relationships will be broken. When estrangement arises, the two children compete against each other, the parents are judged to be partial, and the son may take extreme revenge.

Therefore, don't ignore the harm caused by gender bias to children. Children may not know the reason for many behaviors, and they will guess, and eventually misunderstandings will arise and conflicts will erupt.

Four: Don’t use gender bias to bind children

Generally speaking, boys have more white matter in their brains and girls have more gray matter in their brains, but this does not mean that there are innate differences in thinking and behavior between men and women. However, such gender-biased stereotypes make children victims and negatively impacted.

Therefore, parents should stop educating their children with gender-biased ideas, and give them more space for free development. At the same time, for example, on the issue of "girls need to be rich and boys need to be poor", don't be too rigid. differences in gender and abilities, but to be treated equally, with care and love

Let children choose the things they are interested in, even if the performance is somewhat ''different'', parents should regard it as the uniqueness of their children, so that children can generate strong learning motivation with the support of their interests, so that they can learn in a certain way. Get great achievements in one field, become your strengths, break the rules and become a rookie.