After the child is yelled at, is it silent or counterattack? It implies that the character of growing up will affect the child's life

Nowadays, with the continuous progress of people's thinking, beating and scolding education has gradually been eliminated from the common family education method. After all, this education method has certain drawbacks, and it is likely to cause negative effects if it is not handled properly.

However, when parents educate and guide their children on a daily basis, it is inevitable that they will encounter times when their children are particularly disobedient. In this regard, some parents may be unable to control their personal emotions and yell at their children loudly.

Under normal circumstances, children will have two different behaviors when they are reprimanded by their parents. One is to listen to their parents' instructions quietly, and the other is to disobey their parents' discipline and fight back against their parents' reprimands.

I believe that when most parents reprimand their children, they hope they can take these words seriously and avoid making the same mistakes again. So, for those children who choose silent training, parents always feel that they are more obedient, is this really the case?

Keep silent = obedient and sensible?

It is true that compared to those children who are often disobedient to discipline, silent children are often able to quickly calm their parents' excitement, but it is not reasonable to directly define this group of children as obedient and sensible.

Ms. Liao has a deep understanding of this point. Ms. Liao's son, who is 8 years old this year, officially started campus life in September last year. In Ms. Liao's view, her son is an example of a silent child.

According to Ms. Liao, her son, like many ''bear children'', often caused her some trouble. However, every time he criticizes and educates his children, he will not make trouble without reason, nor will he express his own views to argue with Ms. Liao and his wife.

Therefore, in Ms. Liao's view, although her son has some shortcomings, he can still listen to his parents. As long as he puts more effort into family education, the child can also become very sensible.

However, the development of things exceeded Ms. Liao's expectations. Shortly after her son started elementary school, Ms. Liao received a call from her head teacher. On the phone, the head teacher clearly told Ms. Liao that her son had a fight with his classmates during school.

At first, Ms. Liao did not believe that her son would do such a thing, so she confirmed with the head teacher several times. After getting the same answer many times, Ms. Liao rushed to the school with dubiousness.

When she saw the child, Ms. Liao realized that the head teacher was not alarming, and the son in front of her had a few conspicuous bruises on her body due to the fight.

But even if she saw it with her own eyes, Ms. Liao still couldn't believe that her son did it. After all, when she and her husband disciplined him on weekdays, he never complained or refuted. How could he act so impulsive now? ?

In fact, the reason is very simple. The reason why children make uncharacteristic behaviors is because their personal ability to bear is very limited. When reprimanded by parents and teachers, silent children often do not express their dissatisfaction directly to their parents, but choose to swallow these negative emotions.

Over time, the child has accumulated a considerable amount of resentment. If the parents and teachers reprimand the child again at this time, it is likely to directly detonate those inherent resentments. Because children lack a more rational way of thinking, their actions are easily influenced by negative emotions, and some excessive behaviors occur.

It can be seen that it is not a good thing for children to remain silent in the face of parental discipline. For this type of children, parents should guide them to express their thoughts in real time and avoid the accumulation of negative emotions. So, in the face of parents' accusations, if the child chooses to ''face up'', how should parents deal with it?

Coping methods of the counterattack personality

It is true that parents will yell at their children when they are in a hurry, but it is also out of love and protection for their children. However, the vast majority of children do not understand this, and some children even choose to confront their parents head-on, and such children are prone to form a counter-attack personality in the future.

The most striking feature of the counter-attack personality is that it is competitive. Even if the child knows that he is not doing well, he cannot accept too strong criticism and education. Therefore, the harsher the parent's reprimand, the more disobedient the child will be.

However, the vast majority of parents do not realize this. When they find that their children dare to challenge themselves, they will feel that their majesty has been violated, and then educate them with a tougher attitude. As a result, the counter-attack child will only become more and more disobedient.

In order to avoid these problems, parents should master the following three main points when disciplining their counterattack children.

· Restraining emotions

There's no doubting the fact that children who fight back are more likely to anger their parents than children who are silent. But even so, when parents educate such children, they must work hard to restrain their emotions and avoid greater emotional collisions with their children.

·Focus on reasoning

The education of counterattack children should be based on reasoning. Although children in this category have strong self-esteem, they are not unreasonable. As long as parents can make children realize that they are doing something wrong, they can humbly accept their parents' criticism.

· Click till

Of course, when parents are educating counterattack-type children, they must remember to click until the end, and cannot keep holding on to one point. As mentioned above, counterattack children have strong self-esteem, and repeatedly mentioning their mistakes can easily make children feel that their parents are making fun of themselves, and then show resistance to being taught.