The art of speaking of parents affects the level of 'emotional intelligence' of children. Can you speak?
Since the birth of the child, great mothers have poured all their love into the baby. In addition to taking good care of the baby's daily eating, drinking, pulling and spreading, the mother also undertakes the major task of shaping the baby's character.
Every baby is born with a pure white paper. During the growth process, the mother's words and deeds always affect the baby's behavior.
Different speaking arts lead to diametrically opposite results
Zhuangzhuang, a three-year-old boy, has been taken care of by his mother since he was born. His mother has taken care of his clothes, food, housing and transportation. When his mother is resting, his grandmother will come from his hometown to take Zhuangzhuang for a few days.
Zhuangzhuang's mother is a very patient housewife. She does things in a leisurely manner. She usually uses a calm and pleasant attitude when communicating with Zhuangzhuang. She is rarely seen scolding Zhuangzhuang.
Zhuang Zhuang, who is by his mother's side, feels very happy, because his mother never forces him to do things he doesn't like. No matter what Zhuang Zhuang does, his mother will encourage and support him by his side.
On this day, my mother and grandma took Zhuangzhuang to the supermarket to buy vegetables. Before going out, my mother and Zhuangzhuang made an appointment with Zhuangzhuang about the rules for going out today: no toys. But when he passed the toy store, Zhuangzhuang regretted it, and didn't leave in front of the counter. He insisted on pulling his grandmother with both hands to buy him a toy car.
Grandma was helplessly entangled by Zhuang Zhuang, so she squatted down and said to Zhuang Zhuang, "This toy doesn't look very good. We won't buy it today. Grandma will buy it for you next time."
However, Zhuangzhuang couldn't listen to his grandma's words at all, and instead cried even louder.
After ten minutes of persuasion, grandma lost her patience, kicked Zhuang Zhuang's butt and yelled loudly: "If you don't buy it, if you don't leave, grandma won't want you anymore, and throw you here to feed the tigers." Zhuang Zhuang Hearing grandma's words, he cried even more fiercely and lay down on the ground.
The mother who was shopping heard Zhuangzhuang crying and ran over quickly, stepped forward and pulled Zhuangzhuang up and said softly to Zhuangzhuang: "Mom knows you want this toy, but before we went out, we agreed not to buy it today. Toy, mother is now with you to keep the agreement between us. If you feel sad, just cry here for a while, mother has been with you, after crying, mother will take you to the playground to play for a while, okay?"
Hearing that Zhuangzhuang Yilu, who was going to the playground, got up from the ground and threw himself into his mother's arms.
The communication between Zhuangzhuang grandma and Zhuangzhuang is a tough communication, and it is also an impatient attitude when speaking. This communication method will stimulate the child's rebellious psychology and make the conflict more acute.
The communication between Zhuangzhuang's mother and Zhuangzhuang is a kind of "empathy", and the attitude of speaking is also pleasant. This way of communication will make the children feel that they are understood and respected, and they will be better persuaded.
Parents who can speak and communicate have higher emotional intelligence in their children.
The ability of parents to communicate and speak is very important to the growth of children, which is mainly reflected in several aspects
- Parents can communicate and children feel accepted and understood by parents
When children can feel that they understand, they are more willing to express their inner thoughts to their parents.
In the above, the communication between Zhuangzhuang mother and Zhuangzhuang is a gentle and effective communication. Zhuang Zhuang feels that he is understood by his mother and will learn to understand his mother.
In daily life, many parents like to put on airs, show off parental authority, and want to control their children's thoughts and behaviors in everything.
This approach will not only fail to cultivate a well-behaved and obedient baby, but will stimulate the child's rebellious psychology and make things worse. Children under the strong pressure of parents will also become inferior and closed, and everything will only be boring in their hearts to make parents anxious.
- Parents can communicate, children feel more secure, and their emotional intelligence is also higher
Parents who can communicate can think about problems from the perspective of their children, and they rarely use "I" in their words, and they use the pronoun "you" to communicate.
Parents who think from the perspective of their children for a long time can better understand their children’s thoughts and behaviors. Children who are understood and tolerated by their parents will feel happier and more secure in life, and their emotional intelligence will also be higher.
How can parents communicate effectively with their children to cultivate emotionally intelligent babies?
- When communicating, parents should first pay attention to their attitude
When communicating with your baby on weekdays, parents should use a gentle and patient tone.
For example, when a parent notices that the child is unhappy or doesn't seem right, the parent can ask the child softly: "You look a little unhappy, what happened? Can you tell Mommy?"
At the same time, you can touch the baby's hair or hold the baby in your arms. Physical contact can shorten the distance between people and make communication more smooth.
- Parents should learn to "empathize" with their children instead of controlling them
Parents should stand on the same front as the baby and patiently find the "point" of empathy with the child.
Huo Siyan, the mother of the variety show, did a good job.
No matter what the situation is, her first sentence is always: "Mom knows that you are sad (happy, angry, sad) and understands your inner feelings. Now, would you like to talk to your mother?"
This is the "empathy" between the parent and the child. The child who feels understood will open up to the mother.
- Control your own emotions, from the child's point of view, and consider more for the child
In daily life, many parents simply cannot control their emotions when facing their children, and a little thing makes them lose their temper.
There are also some mothers who often vent their negative emotions to their children, using the children as a trash can for their own emotions.
Young children themselves will not be able to channel their emotions. If they have to bear the strong emotions of their parents on a daily basis, they will gradually become overwhelmed, and their characters will become depressed and inferior.
If parents have emotional problems, they must not bring such emotions to their children. What children want to face is a gentle and patient mother, not a mother like a "tinderbox".
For the mental health of the children, mothers should not go to the top of the horns in everything, and keep a happy mood every day in order to bring true maternal love to their children.
"Happy people heal their life with childhood. Unfortunate people heal their childhood with their whole life."
Every child is the most precious gift for parents. What parents can do is not only to provide material help, but also to provide spiritual satisfaction.
I hope that every parent can always reflect on the way they communicate with their baby, be a parent who "empathizes" with the baby, and bring the baby a happy and sunny childhood.
Today's interactive topic:
Do you communicate effectively with your child?
Are you often unable to control your emotions in your daily communication with your children?
What's interesting about your baby's growth?
Comments and likes are welcome in the message area!