Little things go to your daughter, big things go to your son? The 'pretend fairness' of Chinese parents is ironic
With the development of society, more and more people advocate equal treatment of children. In fact, in a family with two children, it is often difficult to achieve a balanced bowl of water. The little things in daily life are obeyed by the daughter, and the big things that determine life often do not have the daughter's share. "Fair treatment".
Even in some traditional rural families, they still cling to the backward thinking that daughters do not have the right to inherit. In fact, this phenomenon essentially reflects the parents' preference for sons over daughters.
"Why do girls read such a high school book", the new "preference of sons to daughters" is really bad
Xiao Zhao and his wife have a son and a daughter. People who are familiar with Xiao Zhao and his wife think that the husband and wife are partial to their daughter. After all, in the life of a small family, the husband and wife take great care of their daughter, but they are completely free-range for their son. When there is delicious food at home, Xiao Zhao and his wife also give priority to letting their daughter choose first.
This kind of illusion of "favoring daughters" was not broken by the real reality until the two children reached the dividing point in life - the college entrance examination.
Due to the poor academic performance of the son, there is no way to apply for a better university; in contrast, the daughter has good academic performance and can go to key universities after hard work.
Just when everyone thought that Xiao Zhao and his wife would give everything to help their daughter go to school, something surprising happened. At an important turning point in their child's life, Xiao Zhao and his wife chose to give up their daughter's chance and took all the money. Come out and let my son go to college. This directly caused her daughter and her favorite key university to miss out.
Afterwards, Xiao Zhao and his wife repeatedly told their daughter that this was because her younger brother was not capable, and since she was stronger as an older sister, she should let him be more. At the same time, Xiao Zhao and his wife said that the debt they owe to their daughter will definitely be made up when their daughter gets married.
It's finally time for both children to get married and start a business. This is a big event for both children and parents. Unexpectedly, Xiao Zhao and his wife left all their property to their son to help him buy a house and a car. , to arrange the son's affairs properly, while the daughter not only did not enjoy the same treatment, but even the parents' initial commitment was forgotten.
All the property of the parents is left to the son, but when the daughter is here, there is nothing.
The daughter did not expect that she had been favored by her parents since she was a child, but why did her parents give up on her at a critical time?
Most families with many children hope to be able to handle the relationship between their children in a balanced manner, but in fact, many parents subconsciously retain the idea of "preference for sons". Ironically, these parents are still unaware of their "fair". This kind of "unfair" phenomenon appears in many families, and the most obvious manifestation is: the little daily things go to the daughter, while the big things that determine life go to the son.
Can fairness on the surface really be "leveled in a bowl"?
Most families with many children hope to be able to handle the relationship between their children in a balanced manner, but in fact, many parents subconsciously retain the idea of "preference for sons". Ironically, these parents are still unaware of their "fair". This kind of "unfair" phenomenon appears in many families, and the most obvious manifestation is: the little daily things go to the daughter, while the big things that determine life go to the son.
Parents consider their daughters to be little padded jackets, so they will show more love when they are young. But as the child grows up, the traditional consciousness of parents will think that the son's responsibility is heavier, and he needs to start a family and start a business. Therefore, more wealth and opportunities are often given to sons. Therefore, it is often seen that the son has a successful career, while the daughter is lonely and has nothing.
So what should parents do to be "true fairness" when there are two children in the family?
- Right to the wrong person
Many parents hope that their daughters will grow up and repay their parents, so they have loved their daughters in every possible way since childhood. Even if their daughters make mistakes, they will be lenient. As for their sons, parents often hope that their sons will get married and become successful in the future, so they are strict with their sons, and even trivial matters should be treated harshly.
This situation has caused the child's psychological imbalance. Parents should correct the wrong behavior of the child and not condone it. There should not be too much difference between the two children, and the feelings should be distributed reasonably.
- Equal distribution
Traditional Chinese parents believe that the water splashed by a married daughter will forget her own home when she has a new husband's family, and the son needs to marry a wife and have children to set up a new family. Therefore, parents tend to give their sons everything they have, leaving all material wealth to their sons and deducting savings from their daughters.
Doing so makes many daughters resentful, thinking that the distribution of their parents is unreasonable, so they often resent their parents. Therefore, every parent should give their children material wealth fairly and not show too disparate differences.
Although it is no longer the old society, many families still adhere to the old thinking, leaving everything to their sons, but their daughters have nothing, so often children are separated and families are broken. Therefore, every parent must have a steel scale in their hearts, and reasonably distribute the love to their children. Some daughters love their sons, and some sons must have wealth for their daughters. This is the real bowl of water.