The little girl went to the mall to buy toys, but was kicked and beaten in public by her mother. Parents' emotional management is very important
I was in a shopping mall two days ago and saw a scene that left a deep impression on me.
At the door of a toy store, a little girl sat on the ground crying and begging for mercy: "Mom, stop beating, I won't buy it!" Her voice was shrill and trembling, and she kept repeating this sentence.
And her mother, still swearing and kicking the little girl, seemed to have lost control of her emotions.
Despite the people coming and going and several people trying to persuade him to stop, the mother seemed unwilling to give up, berating and violently treating her child.
According to the salesperson of the toy store, the little girl passed by and asked her mother to buy her a Barbie doll. After rubbing hard, the mother still disagreed, so she pulled the little girl and left.
But before taking a few steps, it is estimated that the little girl complained a few words, and the mother got angry on the spot, completely disregarding whether it was a public place or not, she directly accused her daughter loudly, and even took violent actions when she lost control of her emotions.
In fact, there are many scenes like this in life. It is inevitable that when children are not sensible, they will not be able to move their legs when they see delicious snacks or favorite toys.
But in any case, the most important thing as a parent is to educate your child, and you should not use violent beatings and scolding to ask him to obey.
It is conceivable that this mother at home should also often lose control of her emotions, which is a devastating blow to the child's growth.
How terrible is it for parents to lose control of their emotions?
- Destroy the child's sense of security
If every time the child fails to meet expectations or makes a mistake, the parents lose control of their emotions and beat or scold them, which will damage the child's self-esteem. It will make his sense of security disappear.
Although children are small, their self-esteem levels are very high, especially in public places, even if they shout loudly, it is a behavior that parents should not appear.
Children will feel that their parents do not love them at all, and in the long run, they will form an inferiority complex personality, which will have a great negative impact on their future social life and work.
- Incurring the rebellion of children
For children who are a little older, they usually already have a certain degree of resistance.
If parents still adopt this inappropriate way to educate, the children will follow their parents, and they will not be able to manage their own emotions.
Coupled with the inability to understand the intentions behind the parents, it will only form resentment, become more and more rebellious, and sing against the parents.
- Injury to the body
This violent way may get the child's temporary obedience, but they may not even know where they are wrong.
Moreover, the power of parents is stronger after all. If the child is injured regardless of the severity, and it does not serve the purpose of education, wouldn’t the gain outweigh the loss?
Faced with this situation, how should parents deal with it properly?
- Stabilize your emotions
When the child is crying and has already broken down, parents should control their emotions and withstand strong psychological pressure.
If there is only a problem with the child, the parents only need to try to untangle the knot; if the emotions of both parties are out of control, it will escalate into a big parent-child conflict.
Especially in public places, parents need to stabilize their emotions, avoid anger, and don’t care about the vision and thoughts of strangers, they will be much calmer.
- Cold treatment
Don't rush to stop the child's crying and rude behavior. When he is out of control, no matter how much the parent yells, it will not help, it will only make the child feel that it is playful and useful, which will make it worse.
Therefore, parents should learn to deal with the child coldly, and when he has enough crying and calmed down slowly, he can move on to the next step.
- Seize the opportunity to ease emotions, empathize and communicate
If the child's crying is coming to an end, parents can first use empathy to soothe the baby's emotions, or directly use physical actions such as hugging to express comfort.
After that, wait for the baby's emotional pause and explain to him the reason why he can't meet the requirements. At this time, it is easy for children to listen to reason.
Usually, when a child's tantrum pattern turns to coquetry, it's over.
Of course, in reality, we may not be able to do it in one step, and we need to go through many rounds of crying-communication-crying-re-communication, but we must remember to control our emotions, otherwise, all previous efforts will be lost.
It is said that there are no bad children, only bad parents. As long as parents stick to their own principles and bottom lines, set good rules for their children, and don’t lose control of their emotions when crying, the problems will be reduced a lot over time.