The little girl went to the mall and wanted to buy toys, but was kicked and beaten by her mother in public. Parents' emotional management is very important
I went to the mall two days ago and saw a scene that impressed me deeply.
At the door of a toy store, a little girl sat on the ground crying and begging for mercy: "Mom, stop beating me, I won't buy it!" Her voice was shrill and trembling, and she kept repeating this sentence.
And her mother, still cursing and kicking and beating the little girl, seemed completely out of control.
Despite the comings and goings and several people trying to persuade him to stop, the mother seemed unwilling to let go, and continued to berate and violently treat the child.
I heard from a salesperson in a toy store that a little girl passed by and pestered her mother to buy her a Barbie doll. After a lot of hard work, the mother still didn't agree, so she pulled the little girl away by force.
But before she took a few steps, it is estimated that the little girl complained a few words, and the mother got angry on the spot. Regardless of whether this was a public place, she directly accused her daughter loudly, and even resorted to violence when she lost control of her emotions.
In fact, there are many scenes like this in life. It is inevitable that children will not be able to move their legs when they see delicious snacks or favorite toys when they are not sensible.
But in any case, the most important thing to be a parent is to educate your child, and you should not ask him to obey by violent beating and scolding.
It is conceivable that this mother should often lose control of her emotions at home, which is a devastating blow to the child's growth.
How terrible is it for parents to lose control of their emotions?
- Destroy the child's sense of security
If every time the child fails to meet expectations or makes a mistake, the parents lose control of their emotions and hit or scold, which will damage the child's self-esteem. It will lose their sense of security.
Although the child is young, his self-esteem level is very high, especially in public places, even if he criticizes loudly, it is a behavior that parents should not show.
Children will feel that their parents don't love them at all, and in the long run, they will develop an inferiority complex personality, which will have a great negative impact on future social interaction and work.
- Incur children's rebellion
For children who are a little older, they usually already have a certain resistance.
If parents still adopt this inappropriate way of education, subtly, children will follow their parents, and they will also be unable to manage their emotions well.
Coupled with the inability to understand the intentions behind the parents, it will only form resentment, become more and more rebellious, and sing against the parents.
- Injury to the body
This violent way may get children to obey temporarily, but they may not even know where they are wrong.
Moreover, the power of parents is stronger after all. If the child is injured regardless of the severity, and the purpose of education is not achieved, wouldn't the gain outweigh the loss?
Faced with this situation, how should parents deal with it correctly?
- Stabilize your emotions
When the child is crying and already emotionally broken, parents should control their emotions and withstand strong psychological pressure.
If it is only the child who has a problem, the parents only need to try to untie the knot; if both parties lose control of their emotions, it will escalate into a big parent-child conflict.
Especially in public places, it is even more necessary for parents to stabilize their emotions, avoid anger, and not care about the eyes and thoughts of strangers, so they will be much calmer.
- cold treatment
Don't rush to stop the child's crying and shameless behavior. When he loses control of his emotions, no matter how much the parents yell, it will not help. It will only make the child feel playful and useful, which will make things worse.
Therefore, parents should learn to deal with the child coldly, and when he has cried enough and calmed down slowly, he can proceed to the next step.
- Seize the opportunity of emotional relaxation, empathize and communicate
If the child's crying is coming to an end, parents can first use empathy to appease the baby's emotions, or directly express comfort with physical movements such as hugging.
After that, when the baby's emotions pause, explain to him the reason why he cannot meet the requirements. At this time, it is easy for children to listen to the truth.
Usually, when a child's tantrum pattern turns to spoiling, it's over.
Of course, in reality, we may not be able to do it in one step, and we need to go through many rounds of crying-communication-crying-communication, but we must remember to control our emotions, otherwise all previous efforts will be wasted.
It is said that there are no children who cannot teach well, only parents who cannot teach. As long as parents stick to their principles and bottom line, set good rules for their children, and don't lose control of their emotions when crying, the problems will be reduced a lot over time.