''Acknowledging that children are mediocre'' is the beginning of real education

British biologist Galton had a serious interest in the problem of ''the dragon begets the dragon, the phoenix begets the phoenix, and the son of the mouse can make a hole'' when he was young. He studied two questions: The first question is, if the parents are taller or shorter, will the offspring be the same? Another question is if the parents are high achievers, can their children sustain that high achievement?

The height of the parents is very high, and there is a high probability that the child will shift to the normal height, and may be taller than the normal person, but the probability will not be as tall as the parents. Going forward, the grandchildren will further shift towards normal height. The height of the parents is very short, and the height of the child is also shifted to the normal height. It may be shorter than the normal person, but there is a high probability that it will not be as short as the parents. The same is true of personal achievements, and this trend is also evident. Parents are high-achieving, and the probability of high-achieving children is higher than that of children from normal families, but it also shows the characteristics of returning to normal. It is a bit like what the Tao Te Ching says, the way of the sky is to make up for what is lacking. It's the laws of nature.

From a historical point of view, one of the most critical operations for the wealthy and wealthy is to have more babies, select the best to cultivate, and break through the rest. Almost all family trusts or funds have a basic clause, that is, future generations are not allowed to touch that stuff casually, so as to prevent the prodigal children from failing. The money focuses on subsidizing the elites in the family, and the rest is raised as pigs, every month. Give some living expenses. Or donate to the university in advance, so that the university can reserve a place for your baby in the future, although it feels a bit "not fit", but after all, it is better to go there to hang out than not to mix. The reason why in real life the mean reversion of the rich is not obvious is because they are playing with props. Just like playing games, ordinary players rely on staying up late for equipment, and RMB players rely on charging money for equipment. But in any case, the props will only slow down the rate of decline to the mean, and in the long run, the variation that deviates significantly from the benchmark will always return to the normal value.

There is a very strange phenomenon in domestic education, that is: we call ourselves overcoming ourselves as growth, and overcoming others as ''excellent''; we take growth as a matter of course, but rush to the so-called ''excellent''.

Our parents, schools, and society are all marginalizing the ''growth'' that should have gained a great sense of achievement, and even devaluing its meaning and value with a series of vitriolic criticisms - ''Progress a little bit What's the use! Still not as good as the so-and-so who often takes the first place in the exam! ''

In fact, only ''growth'' can become the most important source of achievement that accompanies a person for a lifetime and motivates a person to make continuous progress. And ''excellent'' is undoubtedly a trap - unless you are a perfect person everywhere, you will find people who are better than yourself all the time. You can only be destroyed by growing self-denial over time.

1. What is ''Mediocre''?

Mediocre in the dictionary means ''ordinary but not prominent, mediocre. The opposite of '' is ''excellent, outstanding, outstanding, great''. Some people understand mediocrity as ''not outstanding'', which is no better than others: others earn millions of dollars a year and their monthly salary is 3,000, so they are mediocre; other people's children have gone to kindergarten, but they are still single, so they are mediocre ; Others travel abroad several times a year, but they have never left their hometown, so they are mediocre. Many people forget that there is another premise of mediocrity, which is ''ordinary'', because many people have chosen an ordinary life, so they all bring themselves into the trap of ''mediocrity''.

After watching a variety show, some contestants chose to become students of unpopular mentors, because each mentor has a limited number of promotions, there are too many masters on the popular mentor side, and the competition is too fierce. This way, it is easy to go to the end. It is the survival wisdom of ordinary people. That's why some people say "choice is more important than effort." ''The main reason for mediocrity is not that you are not as good as others, but that you first chose a path that many people take. If you want to stand out on this crowded track, you have to work very hard.

Accepting the mediocrity of children can keep parents in a good state of mind. We know that what kind of mentality one has, what kind of action will be taken, and people will do some regrettable things under emotional impulses. After each exam, some parents will have conflicts with their children. An important reason is that parents are dissatisfied with their children's grades. In my contact with parents, parents often complain that their children's grades are not satisfactory. In fact, in my opinion, their children's grades are already very good. Are you still not satisfied that your child can be admitted to an undergraduate degree? Still not satisfied with being able to pass the exam? Not satisfied with being admitted to a prestigious school? As a parent, if you accept the mediocrity of your child, you will not put forward requirements that your child cannot meet, you will be satisfied that your child has achieved results, you will appreciate and encourage your child, and this will instead promote your child's development.

Parents can admit that their children are mediocre, and that is the beginning of real education. When a child is mediocre, it may be the moment when the child feels happy. Sometimes many parents envy other people's children. They are so good, and the parents also have a face. In fact, every child has it. My own thoughts, if you want to live the life you want, maybe it is true to live a normal life. Many people who seem to live a decent life have bitterness that no one knows about. Life is short, happiness is the most important thing, and a good attitude is the key. A successful start.

2. What impact does child mediocrity have on life?

In the eyes of many parents, success can only be achieved by achieving social class leaps and reaching the pinnacle of life. But such success depends not only on one's own efforts, but also on good luck, so parents should treat their children's success rationally. For children with mediocre aptitudes, as long as they work hard to live a stable life and feel a sense of happiness, is it not a success? When a child grows up, what he needs most is affirmation and encouragement from parents. If a child receives anxiety and inferiority from parents, the child will have negative feedback.

The best education for a child is not to send him to remedial classes at a high price, or to buy him a house in the school district, but to teach him by words and deeds from his parents. If you want to improve your child, the first thing parents have to do is to improve themselves. Parents themselves never read books, but they buy a lot of books for their children and sign up for a lot of cram schools; parents watch TV themselves, but scold their children for playing games; parents themselves haven’t been admitted to any good schools, but they ask their children to study hard and do it by themselves. Do not do anything to people! Parents are the most important starting line for children, don't be superstitious about what is lost at the starting line!

Some time ago, Mr. Nie Shengzhe, a famous educator, had a live broadcast on Douyin, the theme of which was: Accepting the mediocrity of children can surpass mediocrity. Life has to learn to keep adding! Rather than accepting your child's mediocrity, it is better to accept your own mediocrity first. Because you are the root cause of everything, and your thoughts are correct, you can guide your children correctly.

The lotus comes out of the mud and is not stained! The reason why the lotus is not polluted is because it first accepts the environment in which it lives and does not fight against it. Therefore, it can grow by itself with peace of mind, and then bloom quietly! There is a book on psychology called "If you don't fight against yourself, you will be stronger", to the effect that most of the pain in life is not caused by others, but by yourself. Only by accepting ourselves first and learning to self-compassion can we become stronger.

3. How should parents view the mediocrity of their children?

1. Amplify the advantages of children

Parents should be good at finding good performance from their children's behavior, encourage them in time, help them create a good psychological environment, and enhance their self-confidence and sense of achievement. Pay attention to children's strengths and hobbies, pay attention to their advantages, and realize the transfer of advantages.

2. Find a place to play for your shortcomings

Disadvantages are the advantages of misplaced, find the place to play, the disadvantage is no longer a disadvantage, it will be converted into an advantage. Zheng Yuanjie, the king of fairy tales, was a ''study-difficult student'' when he was a child, and he often failed math exams. But he is imaginative, and through his efforts, he has become an influential fairy tale writer in the contemporary era without going to college. When someone interviewed him about the secret to his success, he said this: ''I found the best talent zone. Everyone has his best talent area, which is a special ability given to everyone by God, and no one can replace it. ''

3. Look at the child from a different perspective

Guide parents to accept their children from the heart and look at them from a different perspective. Only when their concepts change, will their perspectives on children change. When we focus on the child's advantages, what we see is the advantage; when we focus on the child's shortcomings, what we see is naturally the child's shortcomings. For example, when a child is writing a composition, if the parent circles the words and sentences that the child writes well, the child will be full of confidence and enjoy writing; on the contrary, if the parent circles the part that the child does not write well, the child will There is resistance, and the natural level cannot be improved.

Every child is a flower, there is no beauty or ugliness, good or bad, but the blooming time is different. The growth of children changes with time. Parents should calm down and wait for the flowers to bloom. Acknowledging that children are mediocre is the beginning of real education. Parents must learn to look at their children from a mediocre perspective. No child is born superior, and mediocrity can lead an excellent life.