'Everything is for your own good', don't say this to your children again, you should understand the 'salt effect'

I believe that every child is a treasure in the hearts of parents, and it is the expectation of parents for a lifetime. Parents are very attentive to everything about their children, and they all hope that their children can achieve success and receive the best education. Parents think that everything they do is for their children, and everything they do is for their children, but they don't know if their actions are what their children want.

Today's parents impose their own ideas on their children and feel that their decisions are correct. Parents always use their own experiences to plan their children's lives. Whenever a child resists, parents always say that it is for their own good, telling the child that they are experienced and know what to do is best for the child. But this is not really good, this is the life of the child, not the life of the parents. A parent's ''for your own good'' has brought great harm to the child.

Parents act like ''all for your own good''

1. Run a lot of cram schools for children

Parents all hope that their children can become talents, can have a lot of talents, or can learn some knowledge at a young age, so that children can win at the starting line. So let the child go to cram school every day, other children have play time, but he is in cram school, the child does not want this kind of life, but also hopes to have the same life as other children. At this time, when parents see their children's resistance, they will tell their children that this is all for the children's good. They help their children to run some cram schools so that they can make their children better than other children, so that the children will have better competition in the future. excellent. Parents say it's all for the sake of the child's future.

2. Strike children

Children sometimes get some good grades. At this time, if the child wants to be praised by his parents, he will tell his parents that his grades have been praised by the teacher. The child thinks that his parents will praise him, but he does not expect it the blow of the parents. When parents hear their children's achievements, instead of praising their children, they attack them, saying that their children's grades are not very good, they are still very poor, and they cannot be happy with this achievement. Parents will beat their children desperately. Parents think that what they are doing is for the good of their children, so that the children will not be too proud and continue to work hard. Parents say that their blows are all for the sake of their children, but this kind of behavior of parents for their children is an act of harming their children. Parents say that hitting children is for their own good.

3, desperately for the children

Nowadays, parents are working hard and are always busy with work. They rarely accompany their children. Every time the children ask their parents not to work and accompany themselves. But the parents say that it is all for the good of the children, that the parents work hard for the life and future of the children, but these children don't care, the children care about the company of the parents. But sometimes parents work hard to give their children a good school, or give their children good things, and spend all their savings. The children don't want it, but the parents say that all this is for the children's good.

Parents think that everything they do is for the good of their children and that it is love for their children, but they do not realize that their heavy efforts bring their children not happy acceptance, but heavy pressure. The parent's "everything for the child's good" love is too heavy for the child, and the parent's love is too much.

Taiwanese writer Long Yingtai said: ''Parents' strong dedication to their children is actually a kind of extortion by love, and the essence of extortion by love is extortion, not love. ''.

The effect of excessive love on children

1. Parents coerce their children's spirit with love

Parents subconsciously think that they are working so hard for their children, so children have to listen to their own arrangements and take the path of life arranged by themselves. What parents do is for their children's future life and will not harm their own children. Parents use this concept to restrain their children, telling them that they can't go against their parents' thoughts, and they must obey their parents. Children's choices are all made by their parents. Children are not allowed to decide anything by themselves, and children are not given free space. Parents use love to bind children's spiritual freedom.

The child is overwhelmed by the heavy love of the parents. The child is obviously unwilling to follow the arrangement of the parents, and the choices made by the parents are not what they want. But because parents always say that they are for the good of their children, the children are very contradictory because of their parents' love, and their lives are very depressing, which eventually leads to depression, or even chooses to commit suicide. Parents use love to coerce their children's spiritual world and prevent their children's spiritual freedom.

2. Let the child lose the right to choose

Parents always make decisions for their children, and feel that they are doing good for their children, they are always making decisions for their children, and they do not give their children the right to choose. Parents say that they are good for their children, that they are experienced people, and that their decisions are beneficial to their children. But I never thought that children don't want their parents' choices. Children want to make their own decisions and have the right to choose. Parents let their children think of a puppet, and they have no right to interfere in their own lives. Sometimes just because my parents said I am for your own good, I give up their dreams and their right to choose in life.

The strong love of parents makes the child's life without direction and exploration, and the child's life is as originally arranged, and it goes on like a playbook. The love of parents blackmails the children's life pursuits and dreams, resulting in no fun and passion in the children's life.

3. Let the child lose the ability to live

Parents do not want their children to leave them, and always want to keep their children by their side, because they love their children very much and do not want their children to leave their side. Parents feel that their children cannot live without them, and it is very unfilial when the child is born, raised, and grows up, but does not accompany the parents in the end. Parents are always worried that their children will suffer when they are outside, and are reluctant to let their children go out to exercise, or have a wider world, and always keep their children by their side. Such behavior is that parents want to make their children lose the ability to live independently.

Parents always use love to prevent their children from being independent. They feel that helping their children do everything well is their love for their children, but they don’t realize that their own behavior will prevent their children from being able to live independently, which will make them unable to survive in society in the future.

Everything should be done in moderation and not in excess. Once everything is in excess, it will lose its original meaning and bring harm, not love. Parents need to know this ''salt effect'', which means that good things should be moderate and timely, ''needs are the best''. Parents need to understand the effect of salt, and know that once the love given to their children is too much, it will bring harm to the children. This education is like cooking. Too salty is not good, too bland is not good. Doing just now is the best, and the love parents give to their children should also be moderate.

How to give children love in moderation

1. Respect children

Parents should respect their children in peacetime. They should not disrespect their children in the name of love. Parents should respect their children's ideas and choices. Parents should not deny their children's ideas and choices too much, but give their children the right to choose. When parents express their love to their children, they should not impose their own ideas on their children. They should remember that children are also independent individuals who have ideas and respect them. Parents should think about problems from the perspective of their children, respect their children's ideas, understand their children's feelings, and not always think about controlling children, but know that children also have their own ideas. Give a little more respect.

2. Give freedom to children

When parents treat their children, they should not always restrict their children's freedom, but always control their children's lives. They always do not want their children to do this or that. Children can only listen to their own demands. Parents should know how to give their children more free space, not always be around the children, always take the children as their heaven, and parents should give their children and themselves breathing space. Parents should let their children free at the right time, and at the same time give themselves space. They should not always force their children to do things, restrict their behavior, and make a lot of mandatory requirements for their lives.

3. Let go of the child at the right time

It's not that he cares very much about the child, he does everything to help the child, it is a kind of love for the child, this is actually a hidden harm. In fact, letting go at the right time is the right love for the child. Parents should know how to let go at the right time and let the child make his own decisions and complete his own affairs. Don't worry about the child all the time, and take care of all the child's affairs. This is actually It's bad for kids. Timely letting go can make children have the ability to face alone and have the ability to be independent, which is very beneficial to the children's future development, and this is the correct love for children.

We know that parents love their children very much and hope that their children can be very good, so in order to make their children better, parents spend all their energy and time on educating their children. But this kind of love from parents is excessive. The excessive love of parents puts a lot of pressure on the child, making the child breathless and unable to breathe.

Parents should not tell their children that all this is for the good of their children, and they should not love their parents too much. It is best to know that this love must be moderate and timely, and to know the meaning of the salt effect. Parents should give their children appropriate and timely love, so that the children can grow up healthily, and stop saying ''everything is for your own good''.